Grindr Fails: Husbands, Bottoms, Jesus, and More!

Grindr Fails: Husbands, Bottoms, Jesus, and More!

Not sure if it was the eclipse, or the mercury was in Astroglide (or whatever that astrology phrase is), but Grindr was on fire this week! Everyone seemed to be in the mood for a hot hookup. Of course, we know the apps are not just full of hot hookups, but they are also full of the common wackadoo with weird messages. As usual, we love to share them and get a chuckle out of the fuckery that is dating. Here you go!

We literally screen-grabbed this on Easter Sunday. Yes, instead of going to church we were searching for Easter baskets, sue us! We didn't feel guilty until this profile popped up. Hey Jesus! Yes, he is back from the dead! Although, like most gays on the app, he is lying about his age. He died at 33, not 23. Nice try, Jesus. Also, we love that he is up for using Grindr for networking as well. You can say his network turned into a religion. Now give that man a glass of water and let's make wine!

Is this sender Paris Hilton? That's hottttt! And how exactly does someone look emotionally unwell? We'd love to see the profile pic that inspired that comment. Apparently, having emotional issues makes you more attractive. If that's the case, then why are we still single?

Ok, we have many red Grindr flags with this one. Number one, this person is extremely low on cell battery. That makes us anxious! Number two, this person is 11 miles away. What dick is worth that much driving? Number three, the send has no profile pic...next! Number four, who needs a room full of not-good bottoms? Block!

Nothing says Grindr power top more than using the Salem witch trials as your go-to response. We thought maybe this was a history professor, but he didn't put "an" before innocent, so not sure how smart this guy could be. Still, we love a little humor with our big dicks, so...bring it on!

Ha! This reads like an episode of Vanderpump Rules! Still living with your ex? How gauche. But, that's a great plan to make him jealous...a loud bedroom session! Turn up the volume. That won't be awkward at all. Nope.

HA HA! This truly sums it up. Who remembers names anymore? We remember body parts. But ouch, after three months he didn't make much of an impression. Moving on...

Let's go husband shopping! Yes, we definitely know that there are many husbands on here. Husbands who shouldn't be. But hey, beggars can't be choosers!

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Check out all of our past Grindr fails to warm your hearts.