Pumping Up with AJ Sloan: Locker Room Etiquette

July 8, 2022
AJ SLOAN

This week I would like to address a public emergency. There is an epidemic that is plaguing many of our communities, forcing some individuals to avoid crowded public spaces. I'm talking, of course, about the current state of our gym locker rooms. These communal spaces can be quite unpleasant, unhygienic, and all around unsatisfactory. If we all recognize them as the communal spaces that they are and treat them as such, then we can all go about our days that much lighter. Here are just a few requests that will have us dropping trou in peace & harmony.

—Put your nasty bodily fluid stained towels in the towel bins, have you no shame? In general, clean up after yourself. You should always aspire to leave a place nicer than when you arrived there.

—Don't put your bare ass on the bench. Or really on anything other than a toilet seat. Period.

—Be respectful of personal space. I know that locker rooms can get a bit shoulder to shoulder, especially at peak hours, but a little consideration goes a long way.

—Dry off in shower area. No one wants soggy socks or worse, fungi feet.

—Share the bench, it is a common courtesy. They're there for everybody, not just for Chad's spread of pre-workout, post-workout, toner, Adidas flip flops and booty shorts.

—If a stare is not reciprocated, it is likely unwanted. Stop it. no one wants to fuck a creeper.

—Walking around naked is never necessary, especially when you are on your third lap of the locker room. Furthermore, cockrings are not athletic support, save that for the bath house (I am talking to you, World's Gym Palm Springs).

—Be nice to the staff. They know all of your business and you never know when you may need them to get your back. No one wants to help an asshole.

—Put your Instagram/Grindr/Twitter away and wipe your ass. Other people need to use the toilet too.

As I mentioned, these are communal spaces. Let's try to remember that and we can all get on with our pumps with a smile. Consideration goes for miles.

Until next time, keep it courteous!