We’ll Teach This Mr. Gerrit The Facts of Life

We'll take the good, we'll take the bad, we'll take 'em both, but we'd rather have 19-year-old Gerrit. The testosterone-pumped British bloke isn't comfortable getting jerked off by a dude. But he's signed up to do a solo for a gay porn site, so it's time somebody showed him the facts of porn life.

The site is called FirstAuditions.com, after all. And the boy is barely legal. He's got soooo much to learn if he's going to make it through life. In his interview, he adamantly claims he's not comfortable getting jerked off by another guy, even if blindfolded. Poor, simple Gerrit. Doesn't he know he can make the big bucks with contact with another dude?

At least he knows enough to spread his ass cheeks. But he needs to learn that we don't want to see him jerking off to girlie porn mags. It's his "first audition," so we'll cut him some slack.

But Gerrit's cocky enough that we want to see him go further. Life'll be tough, he won't always score the women he wants, but he'll have no problem with the gay menfolk. When he needs quick cash, we'll be the ones who'll give it to him. He'll have to let us grope him, jerk him, suck him, and play with his hole. Now that he's done his first solo scene, the gay porn world is his oyster. Grab it if he wants to succeed. And that's the facts of life, the facts of life!

· Gerrit (firstauditions.com)