Stop It With The Blasphemous Jonathan Taylor Thomas Rumors

Wow, the internet spreads a good gay rumor faster than a fisting bottom spreads his cheeks.

At a cocktail party last night, a drunk intern tried to tell us that "Home Improvement" "star" Jonathan Taylor Thomas was doing gay porn. Wrong! Well, at least we're pretty sure it's wrong...

A blind item on Crazy Days and Nights, which was picked up by our sister old friend Gawker says, "This male teen star from a very hit 1990's television comedy is now doing gay porn to make a living. He was definitely on the cover of some teen magazines back in the 90's." And of course, commenters on both sites now say it must be JTT because he's gay. Okay, people: it took us 10 years to convince our mother that just cause we're gay, that doesn't mean we do porn, and the same is true here. And, come on, do you think we wouldn't have noticed if JTT was on screen hammering the shit out of a power bottom (he is so a top, btw)? You shrewd Internet gays have outed this random guy, this random guy, and this random guy as having gay porn pasts. Do you really think we all would have missed a guy who was probably on the walls of every gay man who came of age in the '90s?

Anyway, the item is inherently flawed. First of all, even gay porn stars don't "make a living" doing porn—the real cash is in escorting. Hmm, Mr. Thomas escorting? That we might actually believe. Still, will you all please shut the fucking up and leave our teenage crushes alone? Next thing you know, they'll be outing a member of *NSYNC or a runner up on "American Idol"...

· Four for Friday (crazydaysandnights.net)