Benjamin Millepied Is The Best Reason To Hate Natalie Portman Since Garden State

Details Magazine brings us these shots of a shirtless Benjamin Millepied, dancer, choreographer, burgeoning actor, and boyfriend of Natalie Portman. Want some free advice, Natalie? You'd better watch your fucking back.

Millepied has the taught, sinewy lines of a classical danseur mixed with the bulk and scruffiness of a guy that you'd actually want to fuck the ever-loving daylights out of you. Also, he's gorgeous. And French! Sadly, these sexy shots of Millepied are accompanied by a magazine profile that seems to suggest the two are genuinely, deeply, and frustratingly infatuated with one another.

"I really, really got into it," Millepied says. "You're standing up next to those actors, like Natalie, and you're like, 'Fuck.' " Fresh awe fills his face. "I was blown away—especially by Natalie, who was amazing to watch." That statement, and the sunrise glow on Millepied's face when he makes it, are organic proof that he and Portman are happily dating.

That's okay, though. Obviously Portman is keeping Millepied from ever gets his hands on a copy of the movie Garden State, or he wouldn't be dating her at all. But tomorrow night when he receives an unmarked package with a single DVD tucked into its folds, guess who'll be waiting, inexplicably, in the shadows of his apartment to cradle him as he reels in overwhelming annoyance from the image of his once beloved girlfriend. That's right. Fleshbot.

· Benjamin Millepied: Lord Of The Dance (details.com)