Our Beloved ‘Spartacus’ Needs A New Spartacus

The fate of our beloved "Spartacus" has been up in the air ever since series lead and hotty McHotmuffin, Andy Whitfield, resumed treatment for non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Now Starz is exploring recasting the role, and we have a few suggestions!

· Starz exploring ‘Spartacus' recasting (livefeed.hollywoodreporter.com)

Ashton Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher looked amazing after getting buffed up this summer to play a funny boy next door/assassin type in the romantic comedy "Killers." Too bad he's putting all that muscle to waste playing funny boy next door/assassin types in shitty romantic comedies like "Killers." Maybe a few seasons on premium cable could sharpen his acting chops while providing us with lots of gratuitous half-naked shots of the twitter king?
Mechad Brooks. Brooks' turn as the lovable, tragically brain-washed Eggs in season 2 of "True Blood" was really great. It was also a whole season ago. This guy needs another acting gig, pronto, and who says that all Roman slaves were white anyway? North Africa is, like, right there.
Taylor Lautner. This'll never happen but it's fun to think about. Maybe the writers can reimagine Spartacus as an acrobatic mute so we can see lots of hot action sequences and never have to listen to him say another, stiffly-acted word.
Hunter Parrish. We don't know if this was the last season of "Weeds" or what, but that ridiculous show can't have that much life left in it. Parrish definitely has the body for the part, and we really don't want to see him leave the slutty world of premium cable so that he can go back to doing all of his acting with his shirt on.
Francois Sagat. With the upcoming release of "Man At Bath" the French indie film in which Sagat co-stars as a sexy, wayward call boy, we guess only time will tell if he's much of an actor. Still, Spartacus wasn't so far off from X-rated performance art, and he certainly has the muscle.