UMMM, You Can Now Sleep On Nick Jonas’ Tour Bus

March 7, 2018
HIS_EXCELLENCY

If anyone has $1,500 that they want to Venmo me that would be great, because there is a certain tour bus out there that I need to gain access to so I can rub my taint over every square inch! Nick Jonasty could sell melting ice caps to an Eskimo, and has shilled for pretty much every brand under the sun. Now he's opening up his door for booking.com by renting out his tour bus for a mere $1,500.

The price covers a night's stay in his bus stocked with "Jonas’s favorite on-the-road essentials" as well as a tour of Los Angeles. But the real reason I'm thinking of hitting the street corner after work for some cash is a meet and greet with the nastiest of the Jonasties himself, Nick!

People Magazine knows exactly where our thirsty ass minds are going, and clarifies the stay with "Though, sadly, [Nick] doesn’t bunk with the guest overnight." Um, he definitely doesn't need to stay the night. All I'm asking is that he, how do I say this, puts his jizz inside my butthole.

WELL, if any of you actually shell out the $1,500 to stay the night in Jonas' tour bus we will be expecting a full rundown of your experience!