Porn For Straight Girls: All Boys And Nothing But The Boys

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Let's talk about rooftop makeouts. Let's talk about just-enough facial hair. Let's talk about flamenco guitar and sexy espionage music and boys whose names don't match to their faces and let's talk about everything that makes this movie great, which is all the above and more.

First, let's really talk about how hot Speedo tan lines are. It basically means a brilliant splash of white right where all the important parts are located, framing both ass and cock. All of the men in "Late Night Hit" should have made an effort to cultivate these, not just Valentin Petrov. But they're all super hot, nonetheless! Valentin looks more Greek than Eastern European, which is where the names-not-matching-faces comes in, but his tan lines are fantastic. Also, he looks totally hot taking it from Trey Turner, who is a beautiful, beautiful man. He resembles Drake, if Drake was really attractive and not sort of silly-looking. Plus, he gets fucked in turn by Valentin, and I appreciate when men are both tops and bottoms. Though I wish they had skipped the attempts at dirty talk, which are stilted. Just moan. You sound very hot moaning.

Basically every scene starts with a rooftop makeout, I guess because these guys are supposed to meet at a hotel. I would just like to point out that this scene is set in San Francisco, and I live here and would generally avoid rooftop makeouts at all costs because it is freaking cold and windy three hundred sixty days out of the year. However, it is pretty to watch, and I guess men tend to have more tolerance for cold than I do. Or they just suffer for their art, which is also admirable. Logan Scott and Shay Michaels take their rooftop makeout further into rooftop groping, and I love underwear-on cock rubbing. It's just weirdly appealing. They're both very muscular, cool, but they look sort of similar so it was odd to watch them fuck.

Then for no reason we are at a beach house of some kind, with palm trees and atmospheric crickets. Both A.J. Monroe and Tony Douglas look like frat boys, which is a type of hot, I suppose. Not really my thing. I did like the unveiling of one of their erections from underneath a beach towel (I can't tell who is who, because I have no frame of reference for these performers. One of them looks like Zac Efron, though.) They did a lot of sychronized moaning, which must have been an accident but was sort of cute-hot.

Finally, we're in New York! Or, at least, they paid for some outdoor shots of Times Square. Colby Keller and Ben Stone are in a very wealthy Williamsburg, or trying-to-look-youthful Chelsea, apartment which has steel doors and Banksy-esque graffiti wall decor. There is fucking over the table and against the wall before they finally get to the bed. Awesome! Some nice close-up shots of cock-stabbing, which is what I call the act of "pulling all the way out and jamming back in." Is there a technical term?

The guys in this movie are pretty consistently hot, and there is literally no storyline or dialogue. Also, the music didn't bug me, and the sets weren't terribly stage-y. Why can't someone make girl/boy porn exactly like this? No dick-choking, no inane dialogue, lots of making out and groping beforehand? Seriously. I need gay porn to revamp my straight porn.

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