How To Gayly Breakup

How To Gayly BreakUp

Ok, the romance of Valentine’s Day is officially behind us. The truth is, a lot of couples break up on or right after the big V-Day. Reasoning? There’s so much pressure to celebrate a romantic relationship, buy the gift, and do an amazing date, and that doesn’t work out so well if the relationship isn’t mature or is on shaky ground. We also know the gays like to let their eyes wander.

Here are some breakup tips to gayly go on your way:

Just Do It

Have you been stalling? Have you been prolonging it just because you don’t want to hurt his feelings or because you don’t like confrontation? Waiting to break up just builds resentment and you end up taking it out on him in the long run. Please, he knows. They always know. It’s like a band-aid. Just do it. You aren’t helping anyone out by staying in a bad situation.

Face to Face

Don’t be a little bitch, just do it in person. Don’t hide behind a text, or even a phone call. You have spent time and intimacy with that person, at least do it in person. It’s better for finality too, when everyone gets their say, screams their screams, cries their cries, and then you can physically walk away. Literally putting a period on it.

Don’t Fight

Back to the screaming part. Don’t. There are probably issues on both sides leading up to the breakup. Shouting about them or rehashing them without an intent to get back together is a waste of time and it’s damaging to your mental health. If there is a fight to be had, and there’s some possibility of resolving it and staying together then try therapy before breaking up. Say what you have to say in a caring way, we aren’t total assholes, and let them say what they are going to say. If they start to aggressively, then just say your part and step away.

Take A Break

Breaking up doesn’t mean you stop caring about the guy, but staying connected can prolong the breakup and actually be more harmful than good. During the breakup, tell them you need a break and then really take one. Either mute or block their number and social media, don’t hang out with them in a social setting, just cut it off for a period. Rediscover yourself and what you want in life.

Have Fun

Feel free to have fun. You are single. Take that trip you wanted to take by yourself. Sleep with that guy at the gym you’ve been eyeing. Eat pizza in bed. Get back on Grindr. Go out on a work night. Go shopping. Just enjoy what it feels to not be tied down. IN MODERATION. Just like cheat day, eat a little but don’t binge eat into next week. It’s just not healthy. Not too much drinking, not too much sex, not too much going out.

Go Out

Don’t stay home and wallow, even if you initiated the breakup. Staying home will only put you in your thoughts and convince you it's okay to text him again. When your mind goes to a sad place, go for a walk, hit the gym, go to the movies, just go out and do something. It will remind you that the world still functions out there.

Stay Single

Don’t jump into another relationship, even a habitual one-night stand that comes over three times a week, you are just trying to fill that void with anyone. You are supposed to feel a bit lonely after breaking up, but picking up the quickest and easiest trade is not going to work out in the long run.

Don’t Gossip

This one is hard for the gays. You guys will no doubt have friends in common. Don’t get roped into drama, don’t talk bad about your ex, don’t ask them how your ex is doing. Bashing someone else is not going to cure your heart. You don’t need to reveal all the gory details of your relationship and breakup. It’s a private thing. You can always get advice on moving on, but talking about your ex just makes you look bad. If you really need to vent and complain, call your mother.

Don’t Feel Guilty

This is a big one. When we initiate a breakup, we can often feel guilty. Don’t. Some relationships work, some don’t. That’s why divorce rates are so high. It didn’t work out, you needed to do what you needed to do for your own happiness and there’s nothing wrong with that. In the end, everyone will get over a breakup and move on. You can’t take that kind of guilt on. Remember, staying in something that isn’t working doesn’t help anyone.

What advice do you have?