Our Beloved Spartacus Sees Lots and Lots of Cock

The world’s nakedest gladiator had a great victory in the ring during this week’s episode, but it’s all the naked wrestling, swinging dicks, and kissing boys that we’d rather talk about. Really, penises on television is a win for everyone!

First, here is a relatively chaste scene between gay gladiator Barca and his little love slave Pietros, who is worried about his man’s well being. Before he leaves the ludus to go beat the shit out of some guys they have a tender scene. Right after this, one of the gladiators is shooting sexy looks at Pietros. Is he going to try to take Barca’s bottom for a ride? We’ll have to wait and see.

Next Spartacus and his naked nemesis Crixus have to fight together in the ring, but they can’t keep from fighting each other when they’re all naked in baths. Oh, what we wouldn’t give to be that nasty, dirty, stinky floor with those two boys rolling all over us with their toned, sweaty bodies. Yum!

Finally, we get to examine Crixus’ goods up close (again!) thanks to Lucretia’s frenemy Whatsherfuck (really, you expect me to remember this girl’s name? What is this? Straight Fleshbot?). She is seriously turned on by gladiators, which is great, because so are we! When she demands to inspect them naked, who are we to stop her? Now, if only she would get her nasty hands off our man before we cut a bitch!

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  • Anonymous

    I would love to bite my initials into Crixus’ gorgeous ass cheeks. The fight scene was so hot.

  • GayhawkAZ

    Must. Get. STARZ….

    (I know I’ve been saying that for a while, but adding a channel is fucking expensive, y’all! :( )

  • heterophobic

    It keeps getting better and better. omnomonomnomnomnom

  • Redfox

    That fight scene in the baths is probably the closest thing to gay porn we’re ever going to see on non-scrambled channels. I just kept yelling, “Now kiss!” You know they really want to.

    I’m afraid for little Pietros with that other gladiator giving him the eye. I can’t help worry that, on this show, that means rape and/or killing.

    BTW, did you see his fierce earring? Loves it!

  • Allicide

    I love this show. Stay tuned for episode 9. When the producers refer to it as the “all naked episode” then you know it will be a good one.

  • Anonymous

    I wonder if Showcase will pick this up or if Canuckistan will fear the cock.

  • Anonymous

    Lmao, you know what’s funny? The little bottom boy, Pieros? is that his name? Yea, him…. he was on the last season of Power Rangers, I should know… I saw it, lmao.

  • Anonymous

    yea, Pietros is Eka Darville from Power Rangers… that’s kinda hot, lol

  • The Blob

    “Mind the birds.” Instant catchphrase.