Flashback Friday Looks at the History of “That Gay Cowboy Song”

April 12, 2024
HANK ORSO

By now most of you have come across the latest Orville Peck and Willie Nelson duet as seen above. You know, "that gay cowboy song." Officially titled "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other," most listeners not in the know are assuming it's a Peck original and he roped Nelson into participating, knowing Nelson's affinity for support of anyone's freedom to be themselves. Au contraire, mon frere! Read on to find out more about this revealing and humorous ditty.

Originally written in 1981 by musician Ned Sublette, the song was recorded by Sublette but he said he wrote it with Nelson's voice in his head, and always hoped that the country star would one day record it. As Sublette describes it, he was living with his wife in Manhattan at the time not far from the Christopher Street country gay bar Boots and Saddles. "Gay life in 1981 was very vibrant in those days. It was part of the culture of the city and cowboy imagery is a part of gay iconography."

View this profile on Instagram

hot cowboys (@hotgaycowboys) • Instagram photos and videos

Some of that iconography is mentioned with satirical intent in the song: "What do you think all them saddles and boots was about?" If you're familiar with Garth Brooks's songs, this predates his unintentionally über gay song "Rodeo" with the lyrics "It's boots and chaps / It's cowboy hats / It's spurs and latigo / It's the ropes and the reins / And the joy and the pain / And they call the thing rodeo." Interestingly that song, originally titled "Miss Rodeo" about a woman lamenting the loss of her man to the rodeo, was written by Larry Bastian for a female singer. It didn't gain much attention until Brooks, who loved it but couldn't get his female singer friends to record it, did it himself. When told by Bastian he couldn't record it because it was written for a woman he apparently said "Watch me."

Photo courtesy of Falcon Studios.

Nelson's version didn't come out until 2006. He was given a cassette of the song by an SNL band member after appearing on the show in the mid-eighties. Says Nelson, "I thought it was the funniest goddamn song I'd ever heard. I had it on the bus for 20 years, and people would come in and I'd play it. When Brokeback Mountain came out, it just seemed like a good time to kick it out of the closet." Because of that film, to which soundtrack Nelson contributed the song "He Was a Friend of Mine," Nelson decided to go ahead and release "Cowboys Are Frequently..." A video was recorded with Nelson appearing alongside Burt Reynolds of all people, filmed at Dallas' gay cowboy bar, the Round Up Saloon in 2006. Check out the eyebrow-raising video below!

Nelson was also compelled to release the song due to his close friendship with his manager David Anderson who had come out to him a couple of years prior. Anderson says of Nelson: "This song obviously has special meaning to me in more ways than one. I want people to know more than anything—gay, straight, whatever—just how cool Willie is and ... his way of thinking, his tolerance, everything about him." Of Nelson's version, songwriter Sublette said "It's supposed to be funny, that's what gets people's attention, but to get people to listen to it a second time [you] have to have something going on, and Willie beautifully brought out the tenderness there."

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Brokeback Mountain (@brokebackmountainofficial)

Jake Gyllenhaal and Heather Ledger in Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain.

Nelson's easy-going acceptance of his gay friend and gay cowboys can be seen in the following video in which he speaks with Michelle Valles of Austin's KXAN back in 2006 about the song. You have to skip to the 6:18 mark for that segment. He's so matter-of-fact and disarmingly sweet and almost blasé about the whole thing that it seems like he puts her off guard. You can see her thinking shift, changing from the idea that this is salacious to thinking "Yeah, what's the big deal?"

Nelson's version turned out to be his highest charting solo single since his 1984 duet with Julio Iglesias "To All the Girls I've Loved Before," though not with much country radio play. But Nelson never thought it would get any airplay, much less on country stations. "Every now and then somebody might get a little offended. It's got bad language in it, so I just don't do it in my shows. Anybody who wants to hear it can hear it on iTunes. But you know people are listenin' to it, likin' it. Every now and then somebody don't like it, but that's okay."

Willie, yer boy Hank here couldn't admire and respect you more! Now I leave you with Sublette's original 1981 version. Remember, as Nelson says in his video, "Don't be afraid to be yourselves." And happy trails!