Ask Chad: Friend with Benefits, Threesomes, & Blue Balls

Ho Ho HOE!

Tis the season! The boys are horny, the cold air makes us feel cuddly, and sweatpants are everywhere, REJOICE!

Do you have a Santa fantasy? LOL. Little fun fact, PornHub reports that the keyword “Santa” increases in traffic by 447% during December. I love it….who doesn’t love an older bear with presents? Bring on the jolly man!

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I've been hooking up with a guy for a few months and I feel like we are getting closer to dating and becoming boyfriends. BUT at the start, he was very clear he didn't want a relationship or anything serious. He said he was just out of a relationship and looking for fun and a FWB. So how do I approach wanting to date and change all that and be together?

Crushin' Hard.

Dear Chrushin’ Hard ,

Like I tell all my tops about my tight hole, don’t push it. Back off and let it happen gradually. He’s obviously into you on some level and it sounds like you are spending a lot of time together. Why label it? You are getting the D and some fellowship, be happy with that. He said from the start what his intentions are, and if that changes it will happen over time. I’ve had fuck buddies who have turned into boyfriends, but it wasn’t rushed, and it was nice when it naturally happened. Enjoy the ride. And if he wants another FWB, give him my number.

_____

Hi Chad,

My best friend, who has been my crush for the last 10 years, is dating someone. They've been together 4 months and he's just telling me. I have to say I am disappointed and sad. He should be happy and we aren't together, but I want us to be. What should I do?

Blue Bestie

Dear Blue Bestie,

Are you sure he’s your bestie? You are JUST NOW finding out? LOL, gurl. If he is just telling you, maybe he knows how you feel and wanted to spare your feelings. I get this kind of question a lot, so many of you are crushing on your bestie. Have you guys ever hooked up? Has there ever been any indication there’s a spark between you? To be honest, a good fuck and boyfriends are a dime a dozen. A bestie is not. Cherish the friendship you have and enjoy that type of relationship, it will last. Unless he’s ever shown you some erotic attention, leave it be and be happy for him. Don’t believe me? Rent My Best Friend’s Wedding while drinking a bottle of wine, have a good cry, and log on to Grindr.

_____

Dear Chad,

I just had the hottest threesome I've had in years. It was with a couple and I was very into both of them, but I had a real, undeniable connection with one of them. I was aware of it at the moment and tried not to show too much favoritism but it was pretty intense. We kept finding each other's eyes and mouths and more. All this to say...can I hit him up without the bf or is that shady?

Home Wrecker

Dear Home Wrecker,

Sex is sex. Threesomes give couples a hall pass to explore someone else they haven’t yet, there’s an excitement and connection. But that could be all there is to it. If you want to be respectful, let him reach out. If you just want the D, send him ONE flirty text. If he doesn’t respond with the same voracity, let it be. Like I said above, there’s plenty of dick to be had. You don’t need to ruin a relationship just for a good fuck. Santa is watching.

Fleshbot: Plug In Get Off.
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