Grindr Fails: Sugar Daddies, Professors, & Stereotyping Bottoms

September 24, 2023
JORDAN JAYRO

Hello! It’s been a stunning week, and I’m back with even more wild Grindr Fails! Every week, I curate the most outrageous Grindr exchanges I can find and share them with you! Apps like Grindr are a place for love, romance, sex, and in many cases clown behavior. This week, we’ve got a sugar daddy! There’s also a conversation about when it’s appropriate to assume someone is a bottom. And is it weird to sleep with your professor’s son? Does anyone do homework anymore?! I don’t know, but we’re gonna get into it all!

I have so many questions… First, does this guy know he’s being used as a pawn against his own father? And second, why is he on Grindr if he’s giving him “D”?? On the one hand, I love the drama of this. If I was the guy in the yellow chat, I’d be so nosey. I love involving myself in other people’s drama. It’s my toxic trait. But I also want to know what class the guy in the blue chat is on the verge of failing. Maybe he should be doing his homework instead of tracking down his professor’s son. He probably doesn’t know that sleeping with the teacher’s son doesn’t actually improve his grade. Paying attention in class and doing your homework, however, could be a better strategy!

This is a safe space, right? Because I have a confession to make. I relate to the man in the yellow chat very much. People will assume I’m a bottom based on my height, attitude, twink likeness, and so on. But that’s not necessarily true! I can’t help that I have soft skin, huge lips, and a juicy ass! And I can’t help that most of my thirst traps feature my backside prominently. I do not bottom! Except for when I do! Which is whenever I want, so mind your business! I wish I would see a twink taking selfies and arching their back in a parking lot. I’d offer to help take the pictures because that’s true sisterhood!

I’ll preface this by saying that I do talk to rich men. I love rich men. If you are a rich man, please talk to me. Especially if you’re the man in the blue chat. He begins the conversation by saying that he’s wealthy. In Grindr speak, that means he has money and is probably looking to spoil someone. Usually a young attractive man. The guy in the yellow chat is clearly offended at the prospect and tells him it’s not cute to lead with how rich he is. But when the guy in the blue apologizes, he asks exactly how wealthy he is! So gorg, are you trying to be a sugar baby or not?! Because some of us have bills and my seven side-hustles I have aren’t enough. Send help!

I hope you enjoyed these! Come back next week and see what happens next!

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