What’s Wrong With The 2008 GAYVN Awards (Or, Why We’d Rather Go See Kathy Griffin Too)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all awards shows pretty much suck, but the pre-show suck factor for this year's GAYVN awards is a lot stronger than anything we've encountered in a long time. We've already mentioned how much trouble we've been having trying to work up enthusiasm for this weekend's to-do in San Francisco, and it turns out we're not the only ones; in fact, dread might be a better word to describe what a lot of folks we've talked to -- both porn industry insiders and casual fans alike -- are feeling. Of course, this isn't the first year that people have complained about mismanagement or the screwed up nomination process. But the buzz surrounding the 2008 GAYVNs is so negative that some folks are saying it could very well prove to be their last.

So why so much doom and gloom? Find out the top five things about the 2008 GAYVN Awards that have everyone's panties in a twist after the jump .

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1. Location, Location, Location
When the GAYVNs were held in Los Angeles, they bounced around different venues over the years from the glamorous Universal Hilton to the not-so-glamorous Rage in West Hollywood. But last year, when it was announced that the awards were moving to San Francisco and were going to be held at the legendary Castro Theatre, it seemed that they had finally found their spiritual home. Well, it was fun while it lasted: with no explanation, this year's awards are being held at the Giftcenter, an inconvenient, out-of-the-way venue in deepest SoMa that's generally regarded as being better suited for trade shows than a high-profile porn awards ceremony. No one, but no one we've talked to is excited about this. Doesn't gay porn's most important annual event deserve better?

2. Hostesses with the leastesses?
Much has already been said about the hosts this year, and while we still think there could have been choices a lot worse than Lady Bunny and Derek & Romaine it has to be said that they're a reason why so many folks are disgruntled with the awards. Last year's host Kathy Griffin was rumored to have been so pissed about not being asked back that she booked a show on the same night at the Castro Theatre -- and several GAYVN regulars we've talked to told us they're choosing to go see Kathy instead come Saturday night. (As of today, her show's sold out; the GAYVNs are not -- though that absurdly inflated $100 general admission price might have something to do with it as well.)

3. Nomination process
If you're having a harder time than usual figuring out the logic behind the GAYVN nominations this year, you're not alone. Usually, a comprehensive list of pre-nominations for the GAYVNs is solicited from the judging panel and from the studios themselves; editors and judges then meet and hash out the final nominations list in a meeting that can go on for as long as three days. (Disclosure: Fleshbot's editor-in-chief was a GAYVN judge from 2004 through 2007.) This year, however, nominations were rumored to have been generated single-handedly by a GAYVN editor with little or no input from the judges. If the rumor is true, is it possible that he watched all those scenes in all those movies himself? Sure. Is it probable? Not really. Which also brings us to ...

4. Category and nominee bloat
Yes, there are tons of Oscar categories too, but at least they have the courtesy to hold the Scientific and Technical Awards on another night. No such luck with the GAYVNs, however, where there are some downright silly categories (Best Actor [Foreign Release], anyone?) and no apparent cap in the number of nominees in each category: this year, we have to suffer through 12 best picture nominations, 11 best director nominees, 12 best newcomer nominees, and so on. We know it's about keeping the advertisers happy -- but if everyone gets a nomination, does being nominated even mean anything? Many of the nominations don't make much sense category-wise: take "Amazonia", which is nominated in the Best Foreign Release category despite the fact that it was made by an American studio. And don't even get us started on all those baffling redundant categories as well: Best Packaging vs. Best Boxcover Concept, Best Amateur vs Best Pro-Am, Best Ethnic-Themed Video vs. Best Ethnic-Themed Video (Latin) ... the list goes on.

5. The Great Bareback Debate
While GAYVN (the magazine) recently started accepting ads from bareback studios to little fanfare, those same studios are still prohibited from being considered for GAYVN Awards. Still, perhaps because of the change in the nomination process, at least one movie with some bareback scenes slipped through the nominations screening process: Dark Alley Media's "8 1/2" was nominated for Best All-Sex Video, Best Music, and Best Oral Scene before it was quietly pulled from consideration (compare this original list of nominations with the one currently on GAYVN's site). Some are speculating that GAYVN will have no choice but to accommodate their bareback advertisers and will allow them be included in next year's show -- though after all the anti-bareback campaigning that's gone on over the years, it's unlikely that major studios like Titan and Channel 1 will be willing to share the stage with them. If any single factor threatens to cause a split big enough to end the GAYVN Awards in their current incarnation, it's this one.

All of that said, who knows? Maybe this year's GAYVN Awards won't be so bad after all -- or at least no worse than they've ever been -- and all this hand-wringing will have been for nothing. Tune in to our 2008 GAYVN Awards live blog this Saturday evening to find out. (You didn't think we'd totally ignore the awards this year, did you?)

· GAYVN Awards (gayvnawards.com)