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We Wonder If Jack Johnson Gets A Lot of Dick Jokes…

PORNSTARS

Xtube user jackjohnson1983 has one of the most plainly perfect usernames that a maker of jerk off videos could ask for. It's clever, and it reminds us of Jack Johnson who was kind of a cuter, less racist John Mayer.

What the hell ever happened to Jack Johnson, anyway? He was always the most unassuming of the boys in the ‘white guy on acoustic guitar' genre. We've searched around for shirtless pictures of him with little success, but that's okay because we can just pretend that the guy in this video is really Jack Johnson and—gosh-Jack Johnson is surprisingly ripped.

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I am typically a top and have limited experiences bottoming, and the reason is because it hurts too much. Every time I go through the same thing, clean out, hype myself up, poppers, lube, and try taking it slow. But the outcome is always the same, it hurts and I can’t enjoy myself and then stop him after a few minutes because it is too unbearable. How do I bottom without it feeling like I’m passing a watermelon?

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