Two weeks ago for Black Friday, Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister—the clothier of record for drunk frat kids and aging queens—pulled a shirtless hunk mob publicity stunt in their New York flagship stores. Besides a few promising press photos, we wanted the real photos, taken by real people out shopping, of the impossibly sculpted male statuary models. Mission accomplished, boys!!
Our treasure hunt found a trove of fan photos, each displaying genetically engineered male homosapiens, each more perfect than the last. Yes, yes, it's mainly the fairer sex taking photos with the in-store interactive auto-animatronic figures, but a few daring, darling gaybois took photo ops, too. The parade of manmeat surely made the flagship stores bearable, with their multiple floors of music pumped up so loud we've witnessed shoppers go into cardiac arrest and seen co-eds triggered into thinking they're on Spring Break and involuntary flash their tits.
Anyway, let's tour the man factory...
· Photos via JustaDream.org
The A&F adonises are classy in jeans.
The Hollister hunks hang 10.
Our future husband, so hands off!
LSU stand for Love Stud University.
His nipples detract from her hideous bag.
Thank the lord A&F included a lot of diversity. Seriously.
Photographic genius. The contrast. The epic nature. Now just photoshop out Little Miss Pink.
The sweatpants aren't hiding that bulge.
Him, yes. That hair, no no no no no.
Freshly waxed, and oh, so smooth.
We've heard of being green with envy, but this is ridiculous.
Another merry queen who can't hide her woody.
Is it live, or is it mannequin?
Everyone loves a Colgate smile!
Nutting to say here but, yum!
We're vegetarian. Remove the meat from this sandwich.
Actually, we kinda like the twink better!
Today, New York. Tomorrow, the world.