The Mind of a Masturbator

The Mind of a Masturbator:
What is it about tools that makes me this hot? I can't control myself. It's like the shed is talking, "Come here, boy, no one can see you. I'll be your curtain and you can play with your tool until the job is done." And, dammit, if that tool shed ain't right!

If I jerk it real fast maybe no one will catch me. This is how I was taught to make a fire in the Boy Scouts. Of course, then we were supposed to rub two sticks together and I only have one, but that'll have to do.

Oh, it feels so good. I wish someone was here to see this. What's that, shed, you're here? But you're an inanimate object. No, I'm not objectifying you, it's just that I wish the boys could see me now. They said I didn't have the balls to just pull it out and play with it whenever the urge struck me. The problem is, the urge is always upon me.

That's it, that's good. I'm going to come. Here, let me sprinkle my seed at your door and maybe next season another shed will have sprung up.

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