Dirty Science Friday: Why Does Semen Get Sticky in Water?

The Sticky Situation of Semen in the Shower

As a teenager, you may have realized that utilizing the shower as your masturbation refuge leads to a surprisingly sticky situation. Your traditionally easy to clean cum suddenly became a viscous wad that was almost impossible to get off, and you may have even unknowingly walked around with what looked like dried glue on your skin. I'm sure all parents are thrilled when they realize that lil' Johnny is sliming their shower.

While it seems like a cruel joke that this prime pumping spot (not to mention the hot tub jets that turn boys into men) creates a handful of hard to clean batter, the science behind it is part of the reason that we're alive. Semen is comprised of various elements including chemical compounds, acids, and proteins that only come together upon ejaculation. Only about five percent of jizz is actually sperm.  

"I'm going to make you a sticky mess."

It turns out that the vagina is a demon monster, with an acidity level that destroys all but the most persistent of swimmers. This helps to ensure that only the best of the balls make their way to the egg. The alkaline nature of cum helps the sperm counteract the acidic vag, allowing them to survive the hellish taco wasteland until at least one is able to make it to the fertilization process.

So, what does this have to do with sticky sperm and water? Of the many elements making up your dude juice are proteins, some of which are polar, meaning they are able to mix with water, and others which are are non-polar, meaning that they are unable to mix with water. Once your glob hits the H2O, the polar part washes easily down the drain while the non-polar element, depleted of its counterpart that helps maintain the usual consistency you know and love, sticks to your hand and pubes. Mother Nature's a bitch!

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