Justin Bieber Shirtless Tree Trimming A Christmas Miracle

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Dec 14, 2017 at 12:50am PST

My taint is never in a state of greater confusion than when ruminating over sassy starlet Justin Bieber. His dick pics would obviously win Fleshbot Fap Material Of The Decade if I had an award show - which I don't, thanks nobody - but his thicket of belly and chest tats frankly leaves my no no in a lurch. And I KNOW it's unpopular opinion to diss tats, but if life has taught me anything, it's that I'm unpopular.

NE WAYZ, this is all why I'm happy to report that Bieber is more fap material than taint lurcher in a bizarre new Instagram vide in which he trims a tree wearing just his khakis! It's like our own filthy litle Gap commercial from the 2000's. He can fall into my gap. Rite ladies. Rite. The angle of the manic, sped-up clip obscures Bieber's belly tats but highlights his enviable waist and hot hottie hot hot ass! Bieber doesn't usually put this much effort into his Instagram posts, so if I find out that Selena Gonads was the instigator of the video, in-between fireside cuddling sessions, they're both canceled. Would you let Bieber come inside your chimney? Spillz!

I’m gonna get this dancing thing down

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Dec 13, 2017 at 8:08pm PST