These Big Dick Horror Stories Will Pain Your Butthole

Bigger isn't always better, especially if you ask these worn out droopy assholes that butt swallowed Pringles cans, only to lead to pretty fucking disastrous consequences! The wonderful writers at Buzzfeed asked their readers for horror stories involving big dicks, and some gays got in on the convo to share the very real reality of big D to tight B contact.   

It seems like some of these boys might have just made classic rookie mistakes, but who knows, maybe what they were working with would make these guys look baby carrots dipped in a dollop of ranch dressing. Check out the anal terror below, and let us know if you've ever had an encounter that made your hole say "Glr, we need to have a come to Jesus."

alecsandyr:

Years ago I met up with a guy in an empty cornfield. His dick was almost 9 inches and thick. Neither of us had condoms or lube, so we foolishly just used spit. A few minutes later, he finished and pulled out. That's when I noticed the bloody, shitty jizz that was dripping off his dick and down my legs. We didn't bring anything to clean up with, so we used my underwear. He thanked me and took off. I went to Walmart a few blocks away, bought new shorts and underwear, and changed in the restroom. When I got home, my mom complimented me on my new shorts.

DutchMN 

I met up with a guy from Grindr, and he had the biggest penis I’d ever seen. He took his dick out of my ass because it was hurting me too much, and he said, ‘Damn, you made a mess.’ I saw what looked like a gallon of beef stew, and the smell soon followed. He started puking all down my back, and it ran into my hair, eyes, his bed, and the floor. His sister knocked on the door to see what was going on. He ran into the bathroom while I, still covered in poop and puke, tried to put on my clothes. It was impossible to leave with any dignity.

matthewh4c7ff6ada

I went on a few dates with a guy in college. We knew that neither of us liked to bottom, so I proposed a bet of whoever had the bigger penis got to top. I was obviously pretty cocky and sure that I would win. I was speechless when he pulled out a throbbing Pringles can. Never one to back out of a bet, I powered through, and it was incredibly unpleasant. I was late to class the next day because it took me an extra long time to walk up the stairs.

(That actually sounds like a Tuesday)