Only Good Parts of Dumb New Series “Stripped” Are These Bulges

March 15, 2017
HIS_EXCELLENCY

If you like Naked and Afraid but find yourself thinking "Hm, what would this look like if it was even cheaper to produce and was stupider," then the new Bravo series Stripped is your jam! Participants of the reality show are stripped of all their belongings besides food, water, toilet paper, and presumably a toilet and kitchen - so, they're not really stripped of everything but whatever - and each day are able to reclaim one item. This is the part that I enjoy because it's kind of like playing the "What's the one item you would bring to a deserted island" game. Nick Jonas' penis DUH. Here are the rules:

#1: Participants are stripped of everything they own.
#2: Their belongings are placed in a mobile storage container a half-mile away from their home.
#3: Only toilet paper, water, and food rations are provided.
#4: Each day, participants can retrieve 1 item from the container. Every choice counts.
*No competition. No prizes. 21 days to survive their own life. How will these ordinary people survive being Stripped?

We #stripped all day at #SXSW to announce our new show coming this summer to Bravo! Keep an eye out for some more #stripped surprises this weekend.

A post shared by BravoTV (@bravotv) on Mar 11, 2017 at 4:49pm PST

Obviously, since the show is on Bravo it's got a little som'in for the gays and a little som'in for drunk moms. Stripped participants must relinquish all of their clothes, and of course, the promotions are playing up the men in this situation versus the women. In addition to a commercial featuring a fully nude man with just his BBC blurred out, Bravo flooded SXSW with a "street team" consisting of sexy shirtless men in flesh-colored tights.

This is the part of Stripped where we get so much yes. The Ryan Gosling-ish guy on the left is having some sort of equipment blowout, but there's nothing wrong with the visible penis line from the guy in the middle, and there's just NOTHING wrong with that grapefruit bulge from Thor in the background. Just a couple inches lower and it'd be free! You can also click over to the next picture to see some mid-air bulges. The people in the picture below are for-hire social media "influencers," and they definitely don't look like douchholes.

More than blessed to spend time promoting a fun new series for @bravotv. Check out Stripped this Summer and go to their site for more information. . . . #stripped #bravo #sxsw #sxsw2017 #austin #6thstreetaustin

A post shared by Ryan Johnson (@ryanrtjohnson) on Mar 12, 2017 at 5:50pm PDT