F*cking With AJ Sloan: 5 New Years Resolutions to Get Us Wide Open for 2024

December 29, 2023
AJ SLOAN

Another year has come and gone, a year filled with so much sh*t, the good, the bad, and everything in between. To the surprise of many, the world has not stopped spinning and soon we’ll be taint-deep in a new year on this rock that we share. As we do, I’d like to challenge you to look forward, not back. Instead of focusing on the things that we can’t change, let’s focus on the things that we can. I dare you. To get your cogs turning in the right direction, here are five New Year’s resolutions for your consideration.

Unlearn something. Unlearn a few. Make some room in your head for better things by unlearning old ones that you might not need to be holding onto anymore, impractical or outdated spam in your mind. You clean out your playlists every once in a while and refresh them with new music, why not our minds as well? Clear some square footage in your head for some new experiences, new relationships, and new information. Feng Shei your brain to keep up with the ever-changing life.

Embrace gratitude. I have personally always found people who complain and gossip to be a colossal boner-killer. Whether it’s an iced coffee, the perfect ass, or a dank meme, be more appreciative of the people and things in life that make you smile. There are way more of them than you’d think. Grateful people are happy people and happy people are sexy people.

: Dillon Diaz & AJ

Be kind. Not “nice,” but authentically kind. There is a time and a place to throw shade, and there’s a world of difference between loving yourself and hating on others. Petty is not sexy and is never a good look on anyone. Life is too short to be a dick. Don’t be one, suck one. And while we are talking about kindness…

Love yourself and love your body. You only get one (some people need to hear that). Pay less of your time and energy to the endless flow of media designed to make us overly critical of ourselves. You are as sexy as you want to be and anyone who disagrees likely hates themselves more than you know. F*ckability comes in all shapes, sizes, and shades. Spoiler alert: a good cock has nothing to prove. Take it from me, I’m basically a truffle pig for dank dick.

Slow down and live more artfully, less utilitarian. Not everything you set out to do needs to have an output, purpose, or gain. Instead of asking "why," try asking yourself "why the f*ck not?". Like Miley says, "...the journey is usually the part that you remember anyways." Take a breath and enjoy all of the rides. Also, can we all agree that FOMO is dead? Thanks.

Cheers to 2024 y’all. Be kind to it and, fingers crossed, it will return the favor. It may be a messy year, it’ll likely be a great year, but the best part is that it will be a brand new year full of surprises and plot twists that we’ll all discover together, one day at a time… SALUD!