Grindr Fails: Mile High Club, Sexy Cops, & Map Jumpers

November 13, 2023
JOSHUA ANDREW

It's time again for another installment of Grindr Fails! Why? Because everyone loves to act a fool on the gays' go-to sex app. The things we say to each other while horny and hidden behind a screen — it's just wild. This week we are looking at a pilot who wanted to make the skies extra friendly, a cop who was too hot to resist during arrest, and a guy who really knows how to adjust those filters.

Now I have also fallen prey to a sexy cop. That uniform just does something — why does every cop have a bulge in those pants? So the scenario here is that this guy got himself arrested, clearly, and the cop slapping the cuffs on was apparently super sexy; so either by luck or an intense search, our criminal found our cop on Grindr to say next time you handcuff me, make sure it's to your bed...officer. I want to see the rest of the conversation. Was the attraction mutual? Did they meet up again, and did he keep the uniform on?

Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned hoe but who wouldn't go into the cockpit? Granted, I haven't seen a photo of the pilot in question, but as long as we're talking a sexy silver Sully or below, we're good for take-off. Am I wrong here? This is an ultimate fantasy! Come on now! You get to join the Mile High Club without having to be crammed in a commercial flight bathroom. If you're not going to fuck the pilot in the cockpit, why get on Grindr during the flight?! You want to see some sights, open your window. You want to suck some pilot dick, open your app.

There's a lot to unpack here. So let's start at the top. The guy in yellow immediately wants to know why some random 4,000 miles away is so casually messaging him like he's thousands of feet away— fair. Now maybe this guy is just really specific with the filters he uses because I've had people hit me up hundreds of miles away because of filters. I also know Grindr map sometimes messes up — I am often shown in Vegas because I was here ONE WEEKEND months ago and still guys from Vegas are like, "Oh, you're in the grid." So maybe this is all Grindr's fault, but then the guy in blue ignores the fact they are light years away and the guy in yellow's comment, and casually mentions the gym. Is this guy a bot? Possibly! The guy in yellow finds a great meme and peaces out of this weird Grindr convo.