Grindr Fails: Twink Tug-Of-War, Asking For Compliments, & Horoscopes

September 10, 2023
JORDAN JAYRO

Hey there beautiful! It’s time for another hilarious installment of Grindr Fails! This is where I find some of the most outrageous screenshots of real Grindr chats, and offer some context. And by that, I mean I just make fun of the people in the chat. People (especially gays) can be very cringey on the dating apps! And I’m here to call it like I see it! We’re telling the chilling tale of two gays playing Twink tug-of-war in a Chipotle! Is an address a suitable pickup line? And why are we asking for compliments in the year 2023!? We’re going over it all! So get to it, sister!

I want to be annoyed so badly! But I also know that this is absolutely something I would say to a person. I guess the guy in the blue chat has on his profile that he wants people to give him a compliment not related to looks. Which is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! How is anyone supposed to give a compliment not related to looks when half the people on the app don’t even have a picture to begin with!? So the guy in yellow, obviously reaching for something to say, says he’s a good writer. To which the man in the blue chat responds, complimenting the other guy’s ability to compliment! I hope they’re married with little gay babies by now.

In a world where pickup lines are getting worse and worse by the day, I think this one may take the cake. It starts with a classic asking for the other person’s zodiac sign. The man in the yellow says he’s a Scorpio. I’m already equally turned on and terrified. If you’ve ever been involved with a Scorpio, you know what I’m talking about. The guy in the blue says his horoscope is (insert address here). He then decides to say it’s written in the stars! I can not roll my eyes fast enough. But also, I’ll be there in ten minutes.

This one seems to jump in towards the end of the drama. It appears that the man in the blue chat saw the man in the yellow chat at a Chipotle canoodling with two other men. In his words, they were “acting messy”. The guy in the yellow sends a question mark, signaling that he needs more context. The man in blue mentions that he and his boyfriend were all over a short guy. He says they were playing Twink tug-of-war! And what’s so wrong about that!? Would it be so horrible to partake in an innocent game of Twink tug-of-war in the neighborhood Chipotle? I suppose it is a little annoying. I promise I won’t let another couple fight over me like that again. I apologize.

I hope you enjoyed these hilarious exchanges as much as I did!

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