Catching up with Matthew Rush, Porn Icon of the Early 2000s, as He Talks Favorite Scenes, Hard Times Off Screen, & Returning to Porn

In the 2000s, there was a handful of performers at Falcon who helped make that studio the supreme brand in Gay Erotica. One model who stood above the rest was Matthew Rush. That bodybuilder's physique, flawless smooth olive skin, and killer smile were enough to make him a star, but Matthew also brought consistently strong performances and a natural chemistry to all his scenes that made them some of the most memorable and lasting in porn history.

We already know and love Matthew as a sex symbol, but the man is also a person of extraordinary depth who has been through a lot during and after his time in the business.

He joined us for a very revealing interview to reflect on his time in the industry, to share his personal struggles, and to inspire us all with his story of survival.

How has your life been since leaving the industry? What have you been up to the last few years?
MR: My life has definitely been a journey. To be honest, it has been a lot of deep soul searching and learning to love myself one hundred percent. Embracing and accepting various aspects of myself.

Do you miss the industry at all? What aspects of it?
MR: I miss certain people that I worked closely with.  I miss the traveling, seeing different countries, and experiencing other people's way of life.

What are some of your fondest memories from your time in the industry? Some not so fond?
MR: Probably one of the best memories was when we shot in Australia during the Gay Games. I took the Bronze medal in my weight class in the bodybuilding competition. I had always wanted to compete in the Gay Games so it was a dream come true. The people in Sydney were so friendly and Australia was absolutely beautiful. I honestly didn't want to come home. The not so fond memories are the industry friends that I have lost over the years

Some of your fellow superstars from Falcon Studios in the 2000s, including Erik Rhodes and Roman Heart, met very unfortunate fates. Could you share what you think it was about the industry (or anything else) that did that to them? 
MR: It could be a number of things like lack of self-love, negative comments made by porn enthusiasts, or getting caught up in substance and alcohol abuse. It's unclear what can trigger a model's inner demons.

How were you able to overcome such troubles? 
MR: I'm going to dive deep into my own dark personal abyss and share my story because I think it's important. Toward the end of my career, I was in a dark place. I didn't love myself. I was abusing steroids and drugs to cover my emotional pain. Erik Rhodes, Roman Heart, Josh Weston, and Wilfred Knight's deaths hit me hard. While dealing with their deaths, I had an ex-boyfriend and a nephew who committed suicide around the same time. At that point, I had become numb to everything including life so I attempted suicide. I'm not going to say what I ingested, but I should be dead. The minute I swallowed what I did, the voice in my head told me to call a friend to get me to the hospital because I fucked up. I woke up three days later. I felt different. Something had changed within me. I realized that I was alive for a reason and that's when my journey began. The first step was to love me one hundred percent. Everything I was taught not to like about myself and the things that I hated about myself, I had to accept it, embrace it, and love it because it was a part of me that I couldn't run from anymore. As morbid as it may sound, my suicide attempt was the best thing that happened to me. Learning self-love, to completely forgive, accept and respect the person you are deep down, the beautiful and the hideous parts included, is one of the hardest things to do as a human being. It's so important though.  I guess what I want people to get from my story is to not let others define who you are or what they think you should be or how you should live your life. Let their perception of "imperfect" be your "I'm perfect".

Any fellow stars of your time you consider favorites? Wish you had worked with? Still in touch with?
MR: My favorites were Jake Andrews and Colton Ford who I had the pleasure of working with. I admired the legendary Zak Spears and Tom Chase but never had the opportunity to work with them. I haven't talked to Jake since we worked together in Good as Gold. Sadly I have lost contact with Zak Spears. I hear from Colton from time to time and I talk to Tom all the time.

What do you think was your best scene and why? 
MR: In my opinion it was my scene with Jake Andrews, I had such a crush on him. It was also the most nervous I had ever been shooting a scene.

The industry has dramatically changed since the early 2000s. Things which used to be taboo, like bareback and cum-play are now pretty mainstream. Do you view this as a good thing?
MR: To be honest, I prefer to watch bareback. Do I think it's a good thing? I don't think it's a positive message that's being portrayed for younger audiences. Let's be honest, young people have easier access to porn than I did when I was a teenager.

Do you follow the industry as it is today? What stars today most impress you? What about them?
MR: I'm so out of the loop. I have no idea who the big names are anymore.

Would you consider a comeback? 
MR: I promised myself that once I left, I wouldn't go back. I'm in a happy and healthy relationship right now and I wouldn't do it out of respect for my boyfriend.  If I did make a comeback, I would have to be single and I would want to do a scene with Tom Chase.