Open Post: Which Celebs’ Penis Would You Choose To See?

Our last Open Post wasn't quite the viral sensation that I had envisioned, but I think I got it this time boys. We goin' straight to the top! Which one celebrity who hasn't shown dick yet would you pick to drop trou? You can choose from any celebrity on the planet, but you can only pick one! Even though I came up with the premise I'm already straight up having an existential crisis choosing the celeb I would choose to show dick. Oh ya baby. This Open Post? Iconic.

More than a handful. @nickjonas channels Mark Wahlberg in the latest issue of @FlauntMagazine. #mycalvins #tbt pic.twitter.com/g8suojpSyB

— CALVIN KLEIN (@CalvinKlein) October 2, 2014

Obviously I owe it to 2016 me to choose Nick Jonas to show his penis. We all have a pretty good sense that it's roughly the size of a Coke can and matted down with just a complete thicket of dense pitch black pubes. But on the other hand I owe it to 2019 me to chose K.J. Apa. I'm thinking it's more the size of a Red Bull and hella uncut. Ya know, like, totally sheathed in a bolt of brooding Riverdale foreskin.

And on the other other hand I owe it to 2020 me to pick Pete Buttigieg to show his penis. It's got to be one of those freakishly hung Midwestern Pringles can dick moments, and judging by the fact that Pete can grow a beard in half a day, the pube sitch has to just be unimaginable. Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your pubes.

John Hamm's bulge is my new celebrity crush pic.twitter.com/Jfk2rrQ2pu

— Kirby (@krrbyy) February 15, 2017

And finally, on the other other other hand I owe to my lifetime of thirst to choose Jon Hamm. Technically and scientifically speaking there really is no sexier man on the planet, and all evidence suggests that his gargantuan daddy dick would clear up my skin and add a decade to my life expectancy.

But I'm going to play by the rules and only choose one of these guys, so I go with Nick Jonas to show his penis. Because I know that if I chose any of these other celebrities to show their dicks instead of Nick, I'd always wonder.

Now it's YOUR turn to choose that one special fella that you want to show penis! Think LONG and oh baby think HARD, and let us know in the comments!