All Bel Ami Boys Go to Heaven

June 21, 2011
CEDRIC-DEWITTISON

Bel Ami's boys have always seemed too perfect to be real, Now, we've got photographic proof. They're not just Kinky Angels, but real angels. How else can we explain that we've never see such ravishing beauty on earth, or that these photos were taken on a sun-kissed cloud?

Non-believers will come up with practical reasoning—crap like overexposed lighting, or contrast manipulation in Photoshop. Nothin' doin'. This scene is actually, honest-to-God shot in that transcendental, astral plane called Heaven, where seraphim and cherubim have mind-blowing sex on celestial clouds as harps strum the latest club beat. If it ain't St. Peter, St. Joseph or Moses who guard the Pearly Gates, it's clearly Dario Dolce, Dolph Lambert or Jean-Daniel Chagall.

When we die, this is what we hope we find in heaven. Bless us, saints, for we have sinned...