Medical Show with Live Nude Model Baffles Us, Arouses Us

To complete the day in baffling, boner-inducing imagery, a maybe British show features a medical exam with a scorchingly attractive fully nude male model filmed in a TV studio in front of a live audience. Ridiculous? Yes. Hot? Definitely.

There are two bizarre installments set in the glitzy modern equivalent of Frankenstein's mad-scientist's lab, complete with gel-lighting, multiple roving cameras, and a rapt audience of hausfraus and leering old men. Deadpan doctors of dubious medical certification describe various medical procedures on a model named Dennis—a curly blond, tight-bodied specimen of Aryan male perfection. Not that our dirty minds are complaining, but why the frick is this hunk-a-love completely naked?

Part 1: Blood Loss and Naked Hunks

Don't worry, they don't bleed Dennis. A serious older gent (wearing a button up shirt, slacks, and has white hair, so of course he's a reliable professional, right?) describes what would happen to Dennis's body during a blood transfusion. For no reason other than lechery, the camera slowly pans up and down the golden adonis's fully nude physique. They're talking about a blood transfusion—why do we need a extreme close-up of his thick uncut cock?? (Although, we'd love to see it when the blood gets flowin' another way, okaaay!)

It gets crazier. A German doctor, with an accent right out of the most stereotypical Nazi film and dressed like Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom, thanks Dennis for his "performance" (which is to stand silently for minutes on end), while holding up a model of a human brain to the audience. All that's needed are two bolts of lightening to strike the other nude model who has meanwhile been chilling on an exam table. (Oh, God...please don't let that be a real corpse!)

Part 2: CPR with Naked Dennis

A young woman who looks like she just returned from selling Crystal Light demonstrates CPR techniques on poor, exposed Dennis. This lovely lassie doesn't even try to hide her smirk, or her freely wandering eyes, as she thrusts a bent-over Dennis from behind while talking about obstructions and dislodging objects. Please! We know what this chickie wants to choke on.

Girl's not done. She makes Dennis sprawl down on the floor, cock flopping, while she massages her neck. Even from the camera distance, we can see her smiling self getting all tingly and moist.

How anyone is that entire studio doesn't break down laughing is beyond. Is this some sort of elaborate Onion-style gag? From a leering German to the smirking woman to the blatantly gratuitous nudity, this plays just as absurdly as the live sex-ed scene in "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life."

Not that we're complaining.

· Medical Practice: Live Demo (youtube.com)