Mr. Gay Europe Is Basically Spanish Nick Jonas

We're not trying to knock Americans or anything, but if we got to choose anyone in the world to hop in bed with, it would have to be a beautiful boy from across the pond. Sorry bout it. The UK, France, Spain, Czech Republic—Europe was invented for the specific purpose of creating beautiful men, and a private organization has spent an absurd amount of money trying to find the best one. Behold: the Mr. Gay Europe Pageant.

The 2012 pageant just came to an end and—surprise—the winner crowned was a beautiful Spanish boy. The judges should have consulted us first because we could have told you the most beautiful boy in the world would be from Spain. That way, we wouldn't have to watch their "talents" and listen to them answer questions about world peace. We'd still like to see the swimsuit competition, though.

Check out photos we dug up of this year's winner, Miguel Ortiz. We think he looks like a Spanish Nick Jonas. A Spanish Nick Jonas with an accent and a fat cock.

Excuse us, our seat is soaking wet.