The Winner of Gay Porn’s Slutty Reality Show Is…

We love everything about "So You Think You Can Fuck," even the Grand Finale. As the boys line up at a Key West Resort balcony to the tune of "Pomp and Circumstance," viewers will bit their nails to find out who the big winner is of a whole ton of photoshoots and sponsorships and other fancy-shmancy stuff. You ready? And the winner is...

Mitch Vaughn!

Personally, we were lukewarm about Mitch. But, he was definitely the most professional of the bunch. He performed like a pro, and delivered solid, if too well thought out performances. He's the Clay Aiken of the competition, fucking his butt off every time, but you can see the marketing gears turning ever so precisely in his mind.

The Runner-Up is... Jimmy Clay!

Jimmy is not only our man, but everyone's man. He's the Ruben Studdard—all heart, all natural ability. Whereas you get the sense that Mitch is putting on a calculated performance, Jimmy gives the impression of fucking only for the sheer pleasure of it. Oh, how we wish Jimmy has won!!!

But, as they say on TV's reality shows, America has spoken.

Side note: As Matthew Rush announces the winners, he doesn't check out the boys at all. He's been there, done that and hot, near nude bodies are another day in the office. Meanwhile, his sidekick, drag queen Sushi, silently gives the boys the leering once over. Hold your drool, Sushi! Your lipstick will run!

· Season Finale: Who Will Win? (soyouthinkyoucanfuck.net)