Blast To The Past of Beefcake Bulge

Some of the universal threads that keep us connected to humanity throughout time are birth, love, family, death and admiration of throbbing male bulges. When we're cruising the locker rooms, beaches and underwear parties, we trick ourselves into think we're the first genius who got off on checking out the packages men carry. Newsflash! Dudes have been ogling bulges since, like, totally forever.

Check out the mary in the white thong from a photo marked January, '63. Little Miss Brylcreem isn't fooling anyone with his muscle competition poses. As perky as those pecs are, all eyes are on the bulge.

· Vintage Passion! (http://jimihendrixinparadise.blogspot.com)

Wanna-be viking knows which side his bulge is buttered on. He holds his sword to full dramatic effect, making sure eyes focus on his double edged dagger.

So many questions! Looking at this vintage hottie, we wonder who he is? Where did he come from? What made him pose for this photo? Is he still alive today? What was his life over the past several decades? Does he remember posing for this? Is he scared it'll resurface? Is he dead? Look at that massive bush!

Golly, did everyone really look like they stepped out the pages of a Montgomery Ward catalog? What's the price tag of that plump package? Is home delivery available?

Don't kill us for sneaking in some vintage ass, too. This is exactly what a Sean Cody set would look like circa 1960. The trendy, slightly dusty curtain design. The seemingly purposefully placed rotary phone. The omnipresent cigarettes. Even the tattoo is retro—the type that if he flexes his muscle, the sails billow in the breeze.