Seven Things You Can Buy Us for the Holidays

We know that we're right at the top of all our reader's shopping lists. Well, here are the things that we want Santa (and by Santa, we mean you) to bring us this year.

Most of them are available on the internet, so you don't even need to brave Walmart on Black Friday. And if we want these things, then there is someone else in your life who wants one as well, so these are a great idea for any big old sexy gay shopper. Now, get ordering. We don't want to have to wait until Christmas to start playing.

A Cock Ring/Butt Plug: The only way we like being on top is if we can be on bottom at the same time. Now we can be hard enough to fuck and get a little back door action at the same time. This Kink Industry model is $169 in the Manhunt Store.

A Sling!: We still have never had sex in one and we're making it our New Year's resolution again next year. Maybe if we had one, it might happen. We found a really cute one made by Strict Leather on Gay Sex Toy Box. It even has a little pillow! It's $360 dollars, so that's less than a dollar a day for the whole next year. A bargain!

Marco Blaze: You didn't buy him for us for our birthday and we're still a little upset. Do it now! We found his escort page, and it's only like $300 an hour! Either that or we're going to have to get all buff, hired by Titan, and paid to fuck him screen, but we don't foresee that happening.

"Oh Brother" on DVD: This 1997 Catalina video was one of my favorites as a young gay. It also has this amazing threeway scene where the guys are getting it on in a straight porn theater and they're mimicking the action of the porn movie being projected. Meta brilliance like this needs to be preserved. It's not even available at TLA video. Help!

Cobra Thong: We still haven't had a chance to see if this tiny little strip of snake-skin fabric from Slick It Up will actually contain our mammoth cock and balls. What better time than now, and it's only $28. Hook us up!

Ever since we posted about Luke Smalley's final book of hot young boys getting naked in prison, we've been dying to see the whole thing. You can get it for us for only $31.50 at Amazon. That's even cheaper than the 100 boxes of Kleenex we'll need to mop up after we're done.

The gay internet's most famous webcammer, Jeff from Str8cam, has an upcoming line of jock straps with a cartoon of him printed on the underwear. They're super cute. They're not available yet, but hopefully they will be by Christmas. If not, you can just send us the one you're wearing in that picture, Jeff, preferably unwashed. Remember, this season is all about giving.