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“I Just Pooped!” (And Other Things To Say (Or Not) During Sex)

PORNSTARS

We have a lot of choices when it comes to bumping naughty bits: Lights on or off? Vanilla or kinkified? Top or bottom? And most importantly: Do we do the deed in churchmousey silence or with a hefty dose of good old fashioned dirty talk? If you're fond of bedroom chatter, you might want to check out this handy dandy chart for pointers the next time getting your parts sticky. Don't take it too seriously, though--we know a couple of folks who'd totally love to hear someone whisper in their ear, "I'm going to pound the farts out of you!" (incredimazing.com)

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Cybersocket Ask Chad
Hey Chad,

I am typically a top and have limited experiences bottoming, and the reason is because it hurts too much. Every time I go through the same thing, clean out, hype myself up, poppers, lube, and try taking it slow. But the outcome is always the same, it hurts and I can’t enjoy myself and then stop him after a few minutes because it is too unbearable. How do I bottom without it feeling like I’m passing a watermelon?

Thanks,

- Novice Bottom
Chad,

There’s nothing that ticks me off more than a flake, and lately, I keep getting ghosted on the apps. I get tons of messages when I first log on but by the time I am ready, or the later it gets, the more likely they are to flake on me and then I end up finishing myself and going to sleep. How do I get a hookup to come through?

SOS,

- Night Owl
Dear Chad,

I am a little annoyed to have to even ask this but what is the policy on paying for dates? I recently went out with a guy for the second time now and I had to pay for everything BlOTH TIMES. He didn’t even reach for his wallet when the waiter brought the bill, or when we went to the movies! I feel like that’s so rude, like it should be his turn the second time right? Or do I have to say something about splitting the bill from the beginning? 

Thanks,

- NotUrSugarDaddy
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