Joey Batey From The Witcher Isn’t Gay But Has Gone Nude

'Within the first couple of minutes of meeting him, we were in fits of giggles" - Joey Batey #TheWitcher #HenryCavill pic.twitter.com/UIF9bq5TBc

— Toss a coin to your Witcher ♡ (@Team_Smoldy) January 19, 2020

I can get pretty hung up on actors who play a character gay for comedic effect when neither the actor or the character is gay. Like, what are we to you? A fucking joke? Who gives you the right, sir. Well in walks Joey Batey. He plays his lute-playing bard, named Dandelion, on The Witcher so wildly gay that I genuinely thought his mere presence on screen was an admittance of his character's homosexuality. The fact that he converses intimately with series star Henry Cavill while Cavill bathes only further proved to me that Dandelion, Joey, or both are out and proud.

Well they're not. Joey is straight and Dandelion's sexuality is never hammered out on the Netflix series. But fear not! The Internet is more or less with me on this one, and has decided to simply ignore The Witcher's lack of a stance on Dandelion's sexuality. He's gay and has a good thing going with Cavill. At least according to stan Twitter, which ships these two af. I'm young!

They're a couple, your honor #TheWitcher pic.twitter.com/vfmwsiIlNw

— julian (@buckspatrol) December 20, 2019

Digital Spy even published a great post "Is The Witcher Gay, Or Very Gay?" in which it states:

The Witcher never states outright that Joey Batey's character is queer, but it's clear to LGBTQ+ audiences that he's queer-coded at the very least.

This queer-coding wasn't the producers' intention, according to DS:

Perhaps to further distance his character from queer labels, the Bard of the games is also a renowned womaniser, thereby "legitimising" his close relationship with Geralt (Cavill) for non-queer fans.

But us queer fans, we know. Oh how we know.

As promised, Joey Batey did once go nude - in 2013's The White Queen.

He has a super creamy and smooth ass that compliments his Pete Doherty visage nicely. Hums "Now they're having butt sex. Cowboy butt sex. Sodomyyyyyyyyy."