Pete Buttigieg Won “Best Debater” At Dem Debate Plus Fleshbot’s “Most Engorged Ass” Award!

January 15, 2020
HIS_EXCELLENCY

Jan 15th pics from campaigning in Newton, Iowa

Last night marked the 73rd and final democratic debate for the 2020 democratic primaries, and everyone's favorite obese-azzed former South Bend Mayor tore shit up despite his dire medical circumstances!

Yes, he needed to be lowered onto the debate stage by a crane like a distressed marine mammal, but once he finally got there he werked it. In fact, in its official assessment of the candidates' performances, CNN gave Pete Buttigieg the only A score. Tom Steyer and Elizabeth Warren received B+s while Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders landed with C+s: Via CNN

Buttigieg was in a great spot to have his strongest debate yet. He focused the Midwestern setting into a theme: progressive pragmatism at its best. Buttigieg's content and presentation easily made him the best debater Tuesday night.

This is our moment. This is our chance. We have exactly one shot to defeat Donald Trump and Trumpism—and it calls on us to do something different.

Join me—and let’s turn the page. #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/BtR7Rrgimr

— Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) January 15, 2020

Debating is by nature a homosexual sport (name one kid on your high school debate team who didn't show up to events with tasseled loafers) so Pete's success shouldn't come as a huge surprise. And yet I find myself proud of my fellow gaybo.

Buttigieg's star was on the rise leading up to the previous Dem Debate - a double-edged sword that attracted heated attacks from fellow candidates. Thankfully this time the big buzz-worthy showdown was between Warren and Sanders (Warren claims Sanders once told her a woman can't win the presidency), leaving Pete to talk about God and shit. But Pete, if there's a God, why did he give you that clinically ill butthole?

I genuinely like all the candidates and will throw my petite weight behind whoever gets the nomination. The difference with Pete is that - how do I word this as a sensitive, nuanced, and esteemed pornographic political pundit - I picture his butt when I touch myself. LOL BYE.