April 25, 2018 | Posted in gay by
At this point I think we can all agree that openly straight actor Darren Criss' career decisions are dictated by a Magic 8-Ball, which is actually great, because while the projects are sporadic as hell, whenever Criss asks his manager Mattel "should I go nude?" it responds "Go for it!" Following his acclaimed and perpetually ass-out role on American Crime Story: The Assassination Of Gianni Versace, Criss will be appearing in the movie Smitten! in which he strips down for a hot skinny dipping scene! Natch. His career is 50% eyebrows and 50% skinny dipping and I am HERE for it.
Of course (we have to get it out of the way) I know what you guys are thinking. "Oh his body is deformed" and "Ew look at his face" and "Oh gross he makes me want to die." But guys, we need to be accepting of all shapes and sizes. Yes, EVEN if the person looks like Darren Criss. Here's the jizz-st of Smitten!:
A young New York fashion executive's trip to Milan takes a bad turn when he is kidnapped and whisked off to an Alpine village to be held for ransom money. Little does he (or his three abductors) know that the small, rustic cottage they end up spending the night in is under a gypsy love spell. Or that when they awaken, they will be Smitten! by the first living soul that meets their eyes.
From the trailer it looks like one guy's going to fuck a cow, and it also looks like, unfortunately, Criss did not lay eyes on a hot power top man. Are you able to get past Criss' face and body and be Smitten with his fuckable personality? Spillz!