At this point, I'm just turning my whole HOUSE into a sex toy.

Turning every-day household objects into masturbation aids.

I don't know about you, but I was one sexually adventurous teen, at least by myself. Once I learned to make myself cum, I tried using EVERYTHING to make myself cum, and tried doing it everywhere. Once, I jacked off on the back of the bus. Once I used PAM as lube - I would have tried VICKS, but a friend graciously warned against it.

I even used my pillow to jack off, humping it and pretending like I was fucking it in the way that the guys in the porn I was watching would fuck their girls. It always felt oddly different than using your hand to get yourself off, and you could just kind of lay there afterwards. I don't know why I stopped - possibly for the same reasons that my imagination stopped working.

So last night, I fell asleep early because it has been a long week. As I was asleep, I suddenly woke up hard as a rock - I couldn't go back to sleep. This doesn't happen very often, I needed to jack off right then and there. The desire came swiftly - there were no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So what did I do? 

I rolled over, grabbed my pillow, and humped it in a half-drunken stupor until I came.

I suppose my imagination muscle is coming back; I just wish I could remember what it was that woke me up so hot and bothered.

I've always been envious of people who have vivid memories of their dreams, because I never remember mine. This time was no different; I have no clue what woke me up so hot and bothered.

I didn't fall off my bed in the same way that I fell off of my toilet yesterday after re-discovering my butt plug, but it was enough that I could go back to bed, and let the cum dry and bake the sheet to me until my alarm went off.

What else will I use to jack off with? What else SHOULD I use to jack off with?