The NUE: Masturbating Your Way To A Better Tomorrow

You know how sometimes you see an ad for something and you're not sure exactly what it is or what you're supposed to do with it but you kinda wanna stick your dick in it anyway (regardless of whether or not you actually have a dick)? Well, the NUE is kind of like that, except that you're supposed to stick your dick in it. It's like a more streamlined, space-agey version of the Fleshlight, with two "chambers" of varying tightness ... you know, for your different moods. (We also suppose that you could get all Chinese finger trap with it and use it with a buddy if you happened to be in the mood for that too.) As far as masturbation devices go it doesn't break much new ground, even if its manufacturer does rather grandly claim that it can reduce the likelihood of HIV infection and prostate cancer if you use it; as big fans of jerking off as we are, there's really no reason to get that high-minded about it. This isn't a life-saving device, after all—it's a tube you stick your dick into to get off. Sometimes, that's all the excuse you need. -AR/JD

· NUW (nueusa.com)

Previously: Flesh Flicks: New Toys, Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Fucking Love Machine, Sex Toy of the Week: Marshmallow Pussy, Cup O' Pussy, Fleshlights, The Ijaculater