I am neither a material girl nor an insertable girl. The first (and only!) dildo I ever purchased was a vibrating latex covered spongy affair that my boyfriend and I bought, giggling and silly, form The Pleasure Chest back in the day. Handcuffs were also purchased, and much fun was had by all. I didn't much see the point in using an artificial, lifeless cock when I had practically unlimited access to my boyfriend's formidable phallus, with all of the fortitude and eagerness than an 18 year old male brings to the table.

This habit stuck with me, and for my personal pleasure needs, I have simply not engaged the services of toys that penetrate.  SO much muss and fuss! Being a sex toy raccoon, the fastidious washing, germiciding, lubing, using, washing, germiciding, drying, storing cycle seems a huge pain in the snatch. Yes, I am a Sex Toy Raccoon, because my "Down Theres" are sensitive and do not at all tolerate any sort of microbial security breach. But I am nothing if not willing to try new things, so I thought I  could ease myself out of this hyper-vigilance one step at a time. What better way to start than with a waterproof vibrator?

SO here we go. The Doc Johnson line presents: Monique Sensual Seductions.  I am pleased to report that the folks at Doc Johnson have your genitals in mind and indicate, on the packaging, that the "novelty Item" contained therein is "Phthalate Free." Of course you have the serious issue of "Bad Chemicals." I have no desire to jack off while jacking up my phthalate levels. Thanks for keeping to toxic chemicals out of my innards, Doc Johnson!

The Monique Sensual Seductions (From here on out referred to as the MSS, becaise every time I think "Sensual Sedction" I get that Snopp Dogg song in my head, and I can't have Snoop in my masturbation fantasies right now. Thanks.)  is a solid, basic vibrator. With two deep ridgeS and three curvy undulations along its length, it looks to have some interesting textural Kung-Fu ready to go. The packaging indicated it is a "waterproof" toy, and so I thought it would be perfect for my tentative steps into insertables: I could play with it in the shower, and relieve my obsession about cleanliness. Voila!

The MSS takes 2C batteries which are not, of course, included. They fit into the shaft of the vibe, and the battery chamber has a gasket that serves to reinforce the waterproofiness of the toy. Off the bat, I liked the heft of the thing, and the texture of the ABS plastic. They call the texturing "Velvet Touch" and, indeed, it has a silky feel to it. The control for this 2-speed device is built into the base, and rather seamlessly. Alas, the sleek roundness of the overall design means that the toy will not stand up on its base. The rounded bottom means that it must be laid on its side, and that isn't my very favourite method for having my sex toys chilling on the edge of the shower or on the bedside table. Shit starts rolling around, falls to the floor, before you know it, the Sex Toy Raccoon is back in full washing effect and the whole cycle starts all over again! One neat thing about the MSS is that it dials-up, rheostat-style, from a low frequency baritone buzz to a mid-range tenor hum and right up to a hornet like soprano high-test whine.  Even at the heigest setting, it is fairly quiet. My Oral-B electric toothbrush is noisier, so this seems an entirely reasonable addition to your morning ablutions or evening constitutional and your roomie or significant other will wonder at your new-found dedication to oral health.

In play? Just fine, thank you very much! It is girthy enough for you to pay attention, but not unwieldy in the hand. the "Velvet Touch" is slick when lubed up, but provides adequate traction even when wet to assist in keeping your toy focused where you want it. With a little practice, I was able to turn up the dial on the frequency of vibration with one hand, while bracing myself on the back wall of my shower wit the other.

Kids, do not try this at home. For fuck's sake, sit down or brace yourself well and truly against something while using this toy.

You don't want to wind up in a pretzel heap on the floor of the bathroom with a baby blue vibrator skittering across the tile floor of your bathroom, wondering if it is worse to call for help and be mortified or slowly fade away of sheer embarrassment. I thought this would be my fate when I accidentally dialed the thing all the way up mid stroke and plunged the MSS as far in as it would go while it was buzzing at "Hold On To Your Hairweave, Lady!!!" speeds.

Suffice to say I caught myself in time. No reviewers or vibrators were injured in the course of this review.

Which beings me nicely to the MSS's rugged design. It took a licking and kept on ticking. The sudden orgasmic shock of the wildly oscillating device deep within my own cunt caused me to lose my balance and grab mightily at the edge of the shower, while wrestling with gravity. I managed to win that battle, but the MSS did not. It fell into the bathtub and gleefully buzzed and jived on down to the drain, where it rolled back and forth brightly humming in a way that, I am sure, was not nearly as loud in reality as it seemed to my vaguely embarrassed ears.

I recovered it quickly enough, none the worse for wear.

A quick rinse with soap and water, and voila, ready to go back into its handy dandy plastic bag!

I further tested the resistance to liquid by sitting the MSS within a container of water. Though it generated lovely concatenation, it did not leak. Several hours submerged in water is enough to make me confident that it may well retain its integrity under standard usage. Which probably doesn't include dropping the thing in he tub and chasing it around like a hungry dog after a wayward bone. 

 A fine beginner vibe, with the added bonus of waterproof stealthiness. I'll recommend this sturdy vibrator.  Happy Wanking! ~Mollena