IT'S LIKE AN IRON MAIDEN FOR YOUR COCK

Bree Olson is hot as hell. But, would I be willing to test drive a Bree Olson inflatable doll with my cock? The sad answer is yes.
There comes a time in your life when curiosity gets the better of you. When you dwell on the tranny porn just a little too long. When you find yourself in the middle of Lane Bryant with no intention of purchasing anything. This is one of those times.

Upon unleashing the doll from the package, I was kind of pissed. I was hoping for a hand pump or something to get this fucker inflated. Unfortunately, you had to use lung power to get this bitch started. Then, you've got to dress her in the aforementioned Cowgirl outfit. Buttons and other straps make this process easier than expected. If that wasn't enough, you've got to carefully puncture the pussy and ass, so that you can slide your cock into it. All this work better amount to something.

THAT FACE

I don't know what kind of screenprinting was used for the doll's face.

Bree Olson is a pretty girl and I don't like that her doll face looks like it belongs on a shirt at the State Fair. You can't get all hot and bothered to something like that. Maybe if they put a voice chip in the head to talk while you fucked it. But, that's bordering on the ridiculous.

If that wasn't enough, the face is the only human part of the doll. Everything else looks like an inflatable beach toy gone horrible awry. You don't know whether to fuck it or spend a day by the pool with it. But, you shouldn't take this out by the pool. This is the kind of object that doesn't attract the best mentions in polite society.

THE COWGIRL OUTFIT

It's not really made out of leather. It's more of a shit brown plastic that would be irritating to a real woman's skin.
The box touts how it can be worn by a real partner. I tested that out with the help of my assistant Terra. Unless you're under 100 pounds or if you're a really sex schoolgirl...this isn't going to work.

Which leads me into another rant. Why are sex dolls so tiny? It seems to fulfill a semi-pedophile fantasy in a roundabout way. It's kind of gross to think about and I don't like to dwell on it. If you're going to make a sex doll, it needs to be the size of the performer. Dimensions and shape factor into sex fantasies.

THE RESULTS

I
wouldn't recommend
the doll to anyone outside of a gag gift. The concept of the love doll has been turned ridiculous in the post "Lars and the Real Girl" world. But, there's still that part in the average horndog's brain that wants to try it out. Let's work this out. You've got a four foot tall inflated piece of plastic. The pussy and ass holes are about four inches deep.

Then, there's the fact that the plastic isn't the most smoothed out. So, you're going to be thrusting your cock into jagged short amounts of plastic. Does that sound exciting? Would you do that normally, if you weren't horned up beyond all belief? Ponder that one, as I try to put the doll into storage.