January 1, 1970 | Posted in Celebrity by

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The one, the only, the twinky, the manly, the learned, the innocent, the MENSA member, the dummy, the hairy, the smooth, the literally everything in this world, Nolan Gould, is THE official sponsor of our panty splatters, and after a dry spell that feels like it lasted ten years, he is back with a sexy shirtless Instagram pic!!!

The last time we got anything from Gould was in fucking November, so it's about damn time that he brings out those fuzzy nineteen-year-old tits like a good Instagram celebrity. You see what Cameron Dallas is doing, Nolan? Do that. No shirt. Ever. Be. A whore. In this latest pic, Gouldy Two Shoes can be seen nursing on winter's dick in a hot tub, and includes the caption "2 degrees but still have to use the jacuzzi."

This is really a massive step in the right direction for Nolan, and if he can find a way to flaunt his ever-thickening forest of chest follicles when it's two degrees out, surely this summer is going to be a total beef fest. OMG is that hair on his shoulders now? By the time summer comes, I want him to look like a ball of breedable lint! Ugh, sorry. I think I'm horny on a Tuesday.


A post shared by Nolan Gould (@nolangould) on

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