Violet Fugazzi (VIP)

@violetsvip

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Sweet & Spicy Canadian Temptress- Big Titties and an even Bigger Ass Serving you Sexy Pics & Vids Daily! Access to Exclusive VIP Only Content! VIP Discounts on New Videos Launche..

@violetsvip Latest Posts

Why did Napoleon and his wife sleep with other people?
**Because their last name was Bonaparte, not Bonetogether.**
January 3, 2024 - 19:00:13
I read a science fiction book where people drill for mercury as a power source.
**It was by Hg Wells.**
January 2, 2024 - 19:00:20
I gave up drinking for the new year
Sorry, that came out wrong.
I gave up.
Drinking for the new year.
January 1, 2024 - 19:00:05
What are your New Years resolutions?
*I'm upgrading to 2460×4820.*
December 31, 2023 - 19:00:09
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
*Bacon and legs.*
December 30, 2023 - 19:00:09
What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?
*He had to resort to excessive violins.*
December 29, 2023 - 19:00:08
My friend was shocked when I told him I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means.
*I said “Relax. It’s not the end of the world.”*
December 28, 2023 - 19:00:08
My friend lost is job at the zoo.
*They caught him spanking the monkey.*
December 27, 2023 - 19:00:08
Why wasn't the elf allowed to use the step ladder to decorate the Christmas tree?
*Because of 'elf and safety restrictions.*
December 26, 2023 - 19:00:08
My great grandmother got me a ps5 for christmas-
*My so-so grandmother got me socks.*
December 25, 2023 - 19:00:08
Why is it so easy to track Santa on Christmas Eve?
*Because he always accepts cookies.*
December 24, 2023 - 20:00:10
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!”
*The lumberjack laughed and said, “And you will dialogue.”*
December 23, 2023 - 19:00:06
There are 3 types of people in the world; those who are good at math...
*And those who aren't.*
December 22, 2023 - 19:00:08
A tree's first winter must be terrifying.
*Imagine the releaf they feel in spring.*
December 21, 2023 - 19:00:07
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth
*Then it just becomes a soap opera.*
December 20, 2023 - 19:00:08
If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective...
*I'd say it's Doctor Whom.*
December 19, 2023 - 19:00:07
The Mafia have decided to get into online crime to keep up to date.
*They have just launched a new App called Pay-Up-Pal.*
December 18, 2023 - 19:00:08
What did the Maple syrup farmer say when he saw a good looking maple tree?
*"I'd tap that."*
December 17, 2023 - 19:00:08
Why did Willy Wonka close his chocolate factory?
*He was short staffed.*
December 16, 2023 - 19:00:09
I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.
*I am going to call it Boba Fetish.*
December 15, 2023 - 19:00:11
Humans can catch diseases from monkeys and bats, but why not anteaters?
*Because they are filled with anty bodies.*
December 14, 2023 - 19:00:34
I'm an expert in ice cream...
*I went to sundae school.*
December 13, 2023 - 19:00:08
What type of glasses do gingerbread man wear?
*Eye Candy!*
December 12, 2023 - 19:00:08
How is a mountain similar to a penis?
*While measuring its length, no one can agree where the base is.*
December 11, 2023 - 19:00:08
A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested.
*He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.*
December 9, 2023 - 19:00:11
Most people like their eggs fried or scrambled, I like mine baked...
in cookies, brownies and cake.
December 8, 2023 - 19:00:11
What word starts with "E" and ends in "E" but only has one letter in it?
*Envelope.*
December 7, 2023 - 19:00:08
People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about.
*It's your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about........it's been collecting dirt on you for years.*
December 6, 2023 - 19:00:07
So, I went to a ninja parade
*It was a complete rip off. I didn't see a damn thing, but I kept finding candy in my pockets.*
December 5, 2023 - 19:00:08
I got fired from a sperm bank...
*Every time someone walked in I'd say "get a load of this guy"*
December 4, 2023 - 19:00:08
What burns longer, a red or a blue candle?
*Neither, they both burn shorter.*
December 3, 2023 - 19:00:09
I got fined $50 for sneaking popcorn and a drink into the movie theatre.
*It's ok though, it still saved me money.*
December 2, 2023 - 19:00:09
What do you call a metric cookie?
*A gram cracker.*
December 1, 2023 - 19:00:08
Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?
Because the shelter was non prophet.
November 30, 2023 - 19:00:11
A guy opens up a bakery specializing in pies.
*He calls it Fool’s Gold Bakery. The slogan is “We do Pyrite.”*
November 29, 2023 - 19:00:13
Who Flips Frankenstein's French Toast?
*Count Spatula!*
November 28, 2023 - 19:00:13
Did you hear about the cyber criminal who got away?
They ransomware!
November 27, 2023 - 19:00:15
Sylvester Stallone has launched a new range of cakes. I would highly recommend them.
*They are the best thing since Sly's bread.*
November 26, 2023 - 19:00:16
Why was the shopping center’s father ashamed?
*He didn’t raise his daughter to be a strip-mall!*
November 25, 2023 - 19:00:08
"BLACK FRIDAY SALE" My house.
*You And Me...All Clothes 100% Off.*
November 24, 2023 - 19:00:09
As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.
*I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!*
November 23, 2023 - 19:00:09
My friend was dating two blonde haired, blue eyed twins from Sweden, but he couldn’t tell the difference between them.
*He finally worked out that Anna has a little freckle on her right butt cheek, and Bjorn has a moustache.*
November 22, 2023 - 19:00:10
I'm considering stuffing my clothes with candy bars.
*That way, I'll always have Twix up my sleeve.*
November 21, 2023 - 19:00:10
I hate IKEA but whenever I go, I can’t leave without buying absurd amounts of things for my house.
*I’m suffering from Stock Home Syndrome.*
November 20, 2023 - 19:00:11
What do you call men who make "Women belong in the kitchen" jokes?
*Single.*
November 19, 2023 - 19:00:25
Why was Mickey Mouse so upset that Goofy's name was written in the snow?
*It was done in Minnie's handwriting.*
November 18, 2023 - 19:00:07
Did you hear about the Leper going for the masturbation world record?
*Eventually he pulled it off!*
November 17, 2023 - 19:00:08
Every time I go through a fast food window They hand me my food and say “sorry about the weight.”
*I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.*
November 16, 2023 - 19:00:08
My buddy has been sacked from his job in recycling.
*I can't believe he has gone and thrown it all away.*
November 15, 2023 - 19:00:09
Did you hear about the cucumber who sold his soul to be pickled?
*He made a dill with the devil.*
November 14, 2023 - 19:00:09

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