Ask Chad

Dear Hurt Kurt,

You are a unicorn. A virgin bottom? HOT! Bottoming isn’t easy…especially for your first time. As a power verse, I can tell you that it took a few times for me to enjoy it but once I did, no cucumber was safe. They say that practice makes perfect, go buy a dildo, some lube, and an enema. (Do not use in that order.) Light some candles, play some Britney, put on some power bottom porn, and go to town on yourself. Don’t be shy. If there are first-time bottom issues, you’ll figure it out on your own. Most tops will take their time with a newbie and even get off on it. ALSO, why the fuck are you embarrassed to ask your friends? If you can’t talk about sex with your friends, go get new ones. Have you ever been to brunch? It’s all talk about cock and ass, powered by mimosas. Who knows? Maybe one of your friends will give you a helping hand. Friendcest is best!

Dear Bedroom Bestie,

Let’s face it, men are pigs. Gay men are horny pigs. We will hook up with a hydrant if it had a bubble butt or a high credit score. BUT – when we have a casual hook up, it’s usually a one-night stand. It sounds like you guys have had multiple “one-night stands” that usually indicates more of an attraction or at least friends with benefits. Have you tried talking about it while sober? You need to make sure he’s not in love with you, especially since you are best friends. As the saying goes, BROS BEFORE HOES…it actually relates to your friendship as well. Sure, we can always find someone to fuck, but finding a good bestie is not as easily found. If the sex is making the friendship awkward then don’t do it. BUT, usually setting rules like “No More Fucking” works when there isn’t a night of drinking involved. Drinking lowers inhibitions and makes us horny. Hang out a few times without the alcohol, see what happens. If you guys still get hard you might be in a relationship and you just are blaming it on the booze. dick, all sass. Plug In. Get Off.

Dear BDSM Newbie,

The best education I can recommend is porn… and lots of it. There is plenty of dom/sub-specific content out there. Some of it is pretty intense, so don’t get scared off. Also, from personal experience, most doms will take time and train their subs… that’s also part of the allure. And, you need to make sure you are into it. Nothing worse than a sub who is just going through the motions. As a power verse, I’ve enjoyed both sides of it…and my chaps look fucking fierce.