Can You Tell Your Boyfriend To Delete Grindr?

Can You Tell Your Boyfriend To Delete Grindr?

Here at Fleshbot Gay, we get your emails and queer queries, and lately, a lot of you have been asking our advice on if you can tell your boyfriend to delete their hookup apps. Gurrrlll...this is such a hot topic so we decided to launch our new column...HOT TOPICS!

We've all been there, we are sitting on the couch next to our boo, enjoying the night, and suddenly, we hear that "brronk." It's the Grindr message alert. And your man is obviously getting pinged. There's that awkward moment when he checks his phone and you just sit there speechless. When is it ok to ask your boo to delete Grindr?

There's really no magic number of dates or getting together before you can ask that important question. We don't recommend asking them to delete their hookup app after just two dates, though. Have you used the L-word? Have you called each other boyfriends? Does social media know? There will be a time when you feel you are in the groove of the relationship. And if you feel the inclination to delete your Grindr, then it's probably time to have that talk with your boo. It can literally start with a casual, "Oh, are you still on Grindr?"

You don't have to make a big thing of it, just tell them that you feel like you aren't looking for anyone else and that you want to focus on this relationship, and that you deleted it. See how they feel about it and how they respond. This will open up the conversation relating to being monogamous or having an open relationship.  We know now that it is pretty normal for gays to be open, but that doesn't mean it is for everyone. You have to state how you feel and if it bothers you that your man is on Grindr, then you have every right to tell him. You have to decide if him hooking up or even looking around is a deal breaker for you. You shouldn't compromise what you want just to have a relationship.

We've also gotten comments on the other side, saying you should never ask someone to delete their Grindr. Some say it is controlling and others say if he was really into you he would delete them on his own. Like we said, this is about you. If you want him off Grindr then you tell him and make that expectation. Deleting hookup apps is a sign of commitment and focus on the relationship at hand. This will set the tone for the future of your relationship. Having honest communication and opening up about expectations is key to any successful union.

So what happens if he says no? Some of us gays just can't get off Grindr. We love the hunt and the casual hookup. You have to decide if that is something you can live with. If not, throw him to the curb and find someone else that matches your intentions. For those of us into open relationships, hunting on Grindr together can be fun. But some time should be spent on focusing on just the relationship without outside distractions. Depending on how he responds will dictate what kind of relationship you are building.

Did you tell your boo to get off Grindr? Tell us how it went!

Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected]
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.