Gay Hookup Apps: The Pros & Cons

Gay Hookup Apps: The Pros & Cons

To hookup, or not to hookup, that is the gay question! Many in our queer friendship circle started the New Year off by deleting their gay hookup apps. Bye, Grindr! Bye, Sniffies! Even Match.com got the boot. The motivation was to cut back on the number of casual hookups and to start meeting other guys in real life for an actual date. What??? Crazy, we know! It used to be that if you wanted a hookup you would head out to the club and start gyrating next to someone on the dance floor and then go to the parking lot or back to their place. Now, if you go to the club, everyone is sequestered off into their cliques and on their phones. There just isn't as much fraternizing as there used to be. The art of the cruise and the art of flirting has given way to simply sending a dick pic on a hookup app and calling it a day. In light of some of us gays giving the apps the boot, we wanted to cover the pros and cons.

Pros Before Hoes

Easy access: No matter where you are in the world, at work, at home, at the gym, or at the grocery store, you can literally look for dick anywhere. Whenever you get the urge, you can just whip it out (your phone we mean) and find a hookup. Having easy access also lets you know who the gays around you are. Wonder if that new guy at the office is gay? See if he's on Grindr. Having access anywhere means you don't have to go cruising in sketchy places or wait till the clubs open at night.

Fellowship: This sounds cliche, but getting on the hookup apps is also a form of fellowship and belonging. Guys have sex with other guys, that just part of life. Some guys have a foot fetish, you will find your tribe. Believe it or not, some guys use the hookup apps to talk, not just hookup. We block those guys...lol, just kidding.

Be yourself: Using the apps offers as much anonymity as you want. Post your pic, don't post your pic, it's all up to you. Guys are able to express themselves freely - their sexual desires, positions, kinks, and more. There is someone out there who shares your tastes, so why not be open about it and explore some sexy things you've always wanted to?

Being selective: Using the hookup apps means you can go shopping and get exactly what you want. Looking for guys at the club sometimes means we are getting tipsy and end up going home with someone we wake up next to afterward and go "WTF?" Cruising or sex clubs can be a mixed bag as to what kind of guys you will come across and more often than not, we end up engaging with someone we aren't really into.

The Cons

Mean Girls Syndrome: Yes, you can be selective but that also means you are being a bit superficial. If it's just for a hot fuck, sure. But if you are looking for a connection or something more, you may be missing out on opportunities because your nose is down addicted to the screen and sticking only to your top types. Also, when guys are being superficial and just looking at someone's body or dick size, they tend to get mean, and because it is just an app will send mean messages.

Flakes & Weirdos: Our Grindr Fails column is very popular and there is a lot of material out there. Because gays are hiding behind a screen, they feel the freedom to get very weird. Some guys get too pushy, some guys just send random thoughts, and some guys just send you body parts without you asking for them. Also, how many times have we finally booked a hookup and the guy never shows up, ghosts you, or blocks you without a word. We don't know why guys find it so easy to flake out when it finally comes down to meeting up. Why did they get on the app in the first place? Sigh.

Intimacy Loss: If you are addicted to the art of the hookup app and only trying to find that hot session that maybe lasts a half hour at most, you can start to condition yourself to become detached from any emotional intimacy. This can affect any potential of dating in the future. Also, this lack of intimacy can also affect family and friend relationships. If you are not meeting anyone off of the hookup apps, maybe it is time to try something new and put down the phone for a bit.

What are some of your pros and cons?

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