Today in Gay History, Ancient Roman Soldiers Took One (Several!) for the Team

July 19, 2024
HANK ORSO

Reasons why men think about Rome so much: https://t.co/y6l610rJJN
— TheGay(Pick-Me)Redneck ✝️ (@The_GayRedneck) July 3, 2024

Yer boy Hank here was in Rome several years ago, and was looking for some...uh...entertainment. While Rome is filled with swarthy hotties and plenty of bars, I was looking for something a bit more pervy and old-fashioned. In a group setting. Okay fine, a bathhouse! I wanted to get my groove on surrounded by other dudes getting their groove on! It turned out there was such an establishment in what I thought was a pretty odd location. A couple blocks from the Colosseum, in the lower level of what looked like an upstanding apartment building on a rather swanky street, was just what I was looking for. I thought it odd to have such a sexually permissive establishment in such an established area so close to one of the world's most famous sites of antiquity, but then I learned recently that in gay history, Roman soldiers used the outer walls of the Colosseum to get orally serviced on the regular! Well, you coulda blown me away with this info!

pic.twitter.com/J3tfUTgHSX
— Jef GR (@jef_gr) July 3, 2024

And no, as opposed to the above GIF, there was no spitting allowed! Here's the dealio. According to MensVariety.com, soldiers of a particular level called the Hastatus who historically were poorer and younger front-line infantry were sometimes required to display and prove their unit cohesion by, latching onto other soldiers' units! In short...or rather, in long...the young soldier would be taken to the Colosseum at the crack of dawn (heh heh...crack) where he'd be faced with a handful of men ready to be drained. Oral copulation to the point of completion was the key here. But it wasn't as easy or tantalizing as you'd think.

Gay sex, a thread
Top, bottom, fem, masc, thin, chubby. You should read these RELIGIOUSLY, and understand them! pic.twitter.com/ZiqIoaD8w8
— Dave (@MikelAngelozSon) July 11, 2024

So first of all the men chosen to be feeders all had to be a minimum of eight inches, or the length of two index fingers. And very often, men from Sardinia were chosen, allegedly, for this service. Now this sounds great if you have a while to work on these guys, but it turns out you don't! You apparently only had from sunup until the sun crested the walls of the Colosseum to milk each other and swallow every drop. Which might only be 20 minutes or so!

Photo courtesy of Raging Stallion.

So here you are, you got four or so sweaty studs aching for release because, oh yeah, they had to abstain for ten days prior to this event, the clock is ticking against that rising sun, and you have to fill yer belly with all the baby gravy from each one! Why? Oh, yeah, that's the kicker. You're dead if you don't. Oh sorry, was that not clear from the beginning? So get to suckin' fast because you have a lot of milk blasting your way!

Photo courtesy of Falcon Studios.

Now, if you "suckseed" in your mission, then the glories of Rome await! Or at least, the gloryholes! You'll gain respect for your bravery to volunteer (wait...they volunteered?!) and within your platoon, or ranks, or whatever, you'll be looked on as a great asset to the forces of Rome. Of course, if you're Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, you and your kind are also solely responsible for the downfall of a great empire.