Ask Chad Love and Dating: Cheaters, Straight Guys, & Bored Besties

Cheaters, Straight Guys, & Bored Besties

What a week! Work was busy, my bill collectors were busy, my happy hours were busy, and my pants were busy. Your boy has been gaying it up overtime! How was your week? Actually, my week was full of zooming in to see if Ricky Martin really had an erection during Madonna’s concert. Aye aye aye! I’ll fill his vida with loca!

Anywayyyy, keep those questions coming in, Sexy Bitches, I love reading them! Just like my Sniffies profile says, nothing is off limits: [email protected]

Dear Chad,

I hate to say, I’ve been cheating on my boyfriend. Not emotionally, just physically. It started by just jerking off across from someone at the gym, and now it's oral in the car afterward with random gym guys. Well, there’s one guy that is usually there when I work out and it's become a regular thing. No feelings though, just feeling good. I love my boyfriend, we’ve been together for four years, but the sex is boring, and I don’t feel as attracted to him that way as much. We still cuddle, we spend all of our time together, we live together, we do everything together and I’m very content and happy with that. I don’t want to be with anyone else, but I have needs, you know? What should I do?

Cheating Charles

Dear Cheating Charles,

What gym do you work out at and what time will you be there? LOL. Cheating is cheating, no matter if it is emotional or not. The fact that you haven’t told him says a lot. Look, we all have physical needs, and we all get bored in the bedroom after a while, but that’s being in a long-term relationship, it isn’t always going to be passion and roses. First things first, you need to be honest with him about not feeling so attracted to him anymore. Don’t put it that way, just say you think things have become a little stale in the bedroom department. Work on it together, and try and spice things. OR, tell him exactly how you feel and tell him that you love him in all aspects but that you want to try being open. It’s a gamble on how he will react, but you can’t go on fooling around without him knowing. I am not saying you need to tell him about the blowjobs so far, but if you continue you need to. And I would stop your regular guy, regularity leads to familiarity which can lead to love feelings. Knock that shit out! Maybe you guys just need some better communication, maybe your boo just needs to go back to the gym with you, maybe it’s time to move on, but either way at least talk about it and don’t act like a slut until it is official that you can…then call me!

_____

Hey Chad,

My bestie is straight. Always has been, and never will be anything else. We live together and in typical straight-guy fashion, he has no clue how walking around the house in a towel or underwear is a bit much for me. I’ve always had a crush on him, we’ve known each other since college. He will go to gay bars with me, he will watch Drag Race with me, but that’s the extent of his gayness, truly. But lately, my feelings for him have just gotten really intense and it is becoming an issue because being around him fills me with anxiety. He isn’t dating anyone, and I’m not either so we spend a lot of time together just hanging out. Did I mention how hot he is? It is like he has no clue that he is driving me crazy.

Straight Stumped

Dear Straight Stumped,

Well, I’m glad you aren’t telling me that you think you can change him, or that he falls asleep cuddling you. I’m over that straight-boy fantasy shit. He’s straight and he’s not going to change, you’re super gay and that’s not going to change. If you want to keep the friendship, you have to change your mindset. He will never date you, he will never have sex with you, he will never be your power top. Get over it. The friendship is worth more. Yes, I know that guys walking around half-naked can be a turn-on, but go watch porn, go to the clubs, there’s plenty of hot guys walking around. You are putting all your energy into him. Go on some dates, get out there, spend some time developing your own life and some of that anxiety will go away. Other than jokingly asking him to not show so much skin around the house, there’s not much you can expect of him, he is who he is and it isn’t fair to make someone act differently or change what they do just because it makes you swoon. Before you go running to him and telling about your schoolboy crush, try adjusting your outlook and dating circle. Telling him how you feel right now is just going to add more awkwardness to the mix and you might lose a friend. If these feelings continue then you will have to tell him but it is you that will have to remove yourself. This is on you, boo.

_____

Dear Chad,

My bestie has started to date someone new, yet again. He has always had a thing for older men and he’s really doing it again, his new boyfriend is 57 years old. He’s attractive, successful, very nice, just very boring and clearly lives life like a typical 57-year-old. My bestie and I are used to going the clubs, drinking the hell out of Sunday brunch, taking last-minute trips to Vegas, going to the beach, and just the usual young gay things to do. All of that is gone. I am not being excluded in any way, they invite me to the movies, nice dinners at the boyfriend's house, classical music concerts, day outings to museums, coffee houses, etc. That’s all nice and I like those things, but that’s ALL they do. The only reprieve that I get is Friday night Drag Race viewings at my house, his boyfriend hates drag. I’ve started to say no to hanging out because it is so boring, but I miss my bestie. What am I supposed to do?

Bored Bestie

Dear Bored Bestie,

Well, sorry to say, your bestie is dating his boyfriend and not you. You’re his bestie, and that won’t go away, even if he is spending so much time with his new beau. That’s normal. I’m sure you miss your Romy and Michele times, but they will be back. Maybe not as strong as before but as your bestie and his boyfriend get closer, your bestie will be able to let loose a little once the relationship is solidified. I think it’s nice that they include you – threesome, anyone? Just kidding. You don’t always have to say yes, again, they aren’t dating you. Go spend time with your other friends, hit me up on Grindr, and just go on doing your thing. It will all work out. If you really are his bestie, you will be happy that he is dating and yo will be happy that someone is caring for him. And by the way you describe your friend, it seems like he likes to date a lot. So how long could this last? LOL.

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