Grindr Fails: Laundry, SZA, & Finding Love In A Bathhouse

September 16, 2023
JORDAN JAYRO

Hello friends! When we talk about loads, do we mean laundry? Is it appropriate to reject someone for not knowing your favorite singer? Can you find love in a bathhouse? I’m going to answer all of these questions in this week’s all-new edition of Grindr Fails! This is where I scour the internet looking for the wildest Grindr screenshots and provide some insight, shade, and feedback. You know there’s never a dull moment with the gays, so let’s get right into the foolishness!

There are so many layers of romance to unpack here. First, we have a non-monogamous couple! Monogamy is so 2018! All of the true beauties are non-monogamous! So it seems like the guy in the blue chat is a couple. This tells me that the man in charge of the account is the curator of their shared dick. And it seems like there’s a connection between him and the man in the yellow chat. It’s hard enough to find one guy to be attracted to, but he found two! That’s a lot of poles and holes. And coincidentally this couple is celebrating an anniversary! To make things even more exciting, they met in a bathhouse! I hope they Eiffel Tower’d after this!

I wasn’t sure if I had the emotional bandwidth to talk about this, but I am choosing to be strong for you. There’s not much context to this chat besides the assumption that the guy in yellow is a SZA fan. But the guy in the blue specifically asks him “What” a SZA is! Not “Who” but “What”!! He doesn’t even know that SZA is a person. The guy in the yellow chat fairly seems to reject the guy in the blue, and I’d probably do the same thing. He’s got bigger issues to worry about. Remember when we talked about SZA in a recent Fleshlinks? She’s one of the most beautiful and talented people on the planet. Put some respect on her name and beautifully sculpted body!

This is a classic example of when two people just aren’t on the same page. I assume that the guy in the blue has already collected at least one load. Good for him! I’m just thinking about how he’s holding in this load while on the phone trying to get someone else to come churn up his insides to make butter. And here he has stumbled upon our friend in the yellow chat. He instantly makes a laundry joke saying that he wouldn’t want to come put a load of laundry in him. The guy in blue clarifies that that’s not the kind of load he’s looking for. The guy in the yellow isn’t a dummy and just says that’s his humor. Then he says he’s not interested! He went through all that trouble to make the joke only to not put a real load in the guy. If the man in the blue chat is reading this, message me. I just wanna see something.

I hope you enjoyed these! Come back next week and see what happens next!

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