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Did you miss me?! I didn’t go anywhere, I just wanted you to miss me. I missed you! And I have so much to catch you up on since last week! It’s been an exciting few days for pop culture, and I’m bringing you a curated selection of the most important things you need to know about! And there will of course be some beautiful porn for your perusal. We’ve got a very important Met Gala announcement! Aubrey Plaza spilling the tea on her failed SNL audition! Kim Kardashian bought a very famous necklace that once belonged to a very famous Princess! We’re talking about Britney Spears’ deleted Instagram post about Justin Timberlake, and Todd and Julie Chrisley are officially in federal prison! How fun!

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Todd and Julie Chrisley report to federal prisons to begin sentences

 

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Todd and Julie Chrisley reported to their federal prisons in Florida and Kentucky to start their sentences. I’m still not really sure why they have to go to separate states, but Todd will serve 12 years, and Julie will serve seven years. They were found guilty of fraud and tax crimes. You know, rich people crimes. Allegedly they defrauded banks out of $30 million in fraudulent loans. I guess they couldn’t pray their way out of this one!!! I always got a weird vibe from them. Their reality show was so obviously staged and cringey. And am I the only one who thinks Todd has had work done?!? He looks like he wears a caftan poolside in Palm Springs!

Kim Kardashian Buys Iconic Princess Diana Diamond Cross Necklace

 

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Kim Kardashian somehow blows her nose and ends up making headlines. This woman is an enigma in the way she manages to stay in our minds. And yet here I am talking about her! I’m obsessed with her and the entire Kardashian family! I couldn’t tell you why! Anyway, this week she’s in the news because she purchased the famous diamond cross necklace once worn by Princess Diana. The necklace allegedly sold for $197,453… I’m just taking a moment to think of all the shoes and wigs I can buy with that much money. But I guess to Kim Kardashian it’s nothing! Werk. Good for her!

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Britney Spears Makes Rare Comment About Ex Justin Timberlake

 

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Britney Spears posted a now-deleted throwback photo of her and Justin Timberlake in matching basketball uniforms. The two dated from 1999 to 2002. They are, to this day, one of the most iconic celebrity couples to ever exist...ever. Imagine if they got back together?! I can’t, it's too much for my gay heart to handle. They have both remarried and seem happy in their new relationships, but I can dream, right? This post came nearly two years after Justin Timberlake made a public apology to both Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. Between the Superbowl drama and the "Cry Me A River" music video, it’s safe to say that his career has flourished while seemingly at the expense of both Janet and Britney.

Met Gala 2023: Dress code, co-chairs announced for Karl Lagerfeld-themed event

 

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The Met Gala is fast approaching!! And it looks like Anna Wintour has chosen Dua Lipa, Penélope Cruz, Roger Federer, and Michaela Coel to join her as co-hosts for this year’s Gala. I feel like that is too many people. Remember when Gaga did it? I think she had a co-host but I’m really only interested in her and that iconic 16-minute entrance! Maybe we’ll get another iconic moment this year. This year’s Gala is also going to celebrate the work of Karl Lagerfeld, who passed away in 2019. Didn’t he openly admit that he didn’t think plus-sized women belonged on the runway? Did we just forget that? The fashion world is a trip. Anyway, we’ll see what happens!!

Aubrey Plaza Revealed What Went Down During Her "SNL" Audition, And It Sounds Very, VERY Weird

 

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It feels like Aubrey Plaza is having a moment in the zeitgeist right now. And I couldn’t be more pleased. The gays have been raving about her performance in The White Lotus (I’m sure non-gays are as well but I don’t talk to them so I don’t know). Actually, in a recent appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Aubrey talked about her SNL audition (spoiler alert: she didn’t get cast). She said that although she didn’t make it to the final round of auditions, she did get to portray a Puerto Rican news reporter who tries to make every story sexy. I don’t know who has access to the video of this, but please leak it. We’re begging you!!

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