F*cking With AJ Sloan: Make 2023 Your Sluttiest Year Yet

December 30, 2022
AJ SLOAN

Another year is coming to a close, and the anticipation for 2023 is at its climax. But before the new year cums, have we pondered ways to make it the piggiest year to date? I know a lot of you out there are wishing you had said yes to that DP opportunity in Puerta Vallarta or RSVPed to that holiday cum dump get-together last week, but it is not too late to hoe it up. Make 2023 the year of being a proud slut. Get that dick. Explore all of your holiest holes. Here are some New Year’s resolutions for your private parts.

Flip it and reverse it. Exclusivity is so last year. Tops, stop neglecting your prostate. Bottoms, find yourself a nice hole, and go balls deep. Take it from an avid vers hoe. Topping and bottoming are both so delicious, why limit yourself to just one? When in doubt, pass the poppers.

Own your kink. Life is too short for shame (take from me, the shamelessly shameless). It is more than okay to get off in ways not portrayed by mainstream media. Don’t push your leather and latex to the back of the closet. Shove that jockstrap in your mouth and squeal like the little cum pig that you are. Be confident in what you like.

Find your kink community. This is in tandem with the prior mentioned resolution but is of equal importance. It is a goddam blessing to be surrounded by folks who are into what you are into. The mutual appreciation of whichever pleasure you're both into makes the experience that much more arousing. Don't be shy...

Curate your hotation. It’s about quality, not quantity (gang bangs aside). Sift out the bad lays that you may have settled for in 2022. Respect good sex, and keep the hookups that were full of chemistry (not to be confused with chemsex) around for future fuck sessions. And a reminder for those of you that need to hear it: it is OKAY to fuck your friends.

Up the spontaneity. Nothing is hotter than an unexpected encounter. Make yourself open to random acts of fuckery. Loosen up a little and suck that wagging dick in the locker room. Pursue parallel play in a parking garage. Unleash the tease that is buried deep inside you. Make it a goal to up your cruising game. It is a practice just as much as yoga and dentistry are. Need a little help? Sniffies has your (bare)back.

Can we make 2023 the year of the jockstrap? I want every man in the locker room wearing a pair this year. That is the communal resolution I am setting. Have a happy, healthy, and hoey New Year, my cumrades. Raise a glass and eat that ass!